My Food Problem

***I wrote this July last year but never posted it. This "issue" is evolving into a new lifestyle for me and my family. I thought I'd post this now. I'm sure to write about in the future as I continue to learn.****

Food

The past 48 hours I have crammed my brain with food!

I realized I need help with meal ideas and in my search for "ideas" I have been on this exhausting Nutrition Mission.

I don't like spending time in the kitchen!

I don't like cooking, cleaning, preparing, or anything that involves the kitchen.

I don't like the time required to fix dinner.

I don't like visits to the refrigerator over and over and all day long.

Most the time, eating is a burden.

Being aware of my relationship with the kitchen, I am really really confused at the desire I have recently became obsessed with.

I feel like Jonah when he was called by God to be his messenger to the people of Nineveh.

I'm thinking "No, thanks. I really don't want anything to do with food and time in the kitchen. I'd rather live my life in ignorance. Eating my way to my deathbed if necessary.

Let me make this clear. I have been rescued by my husband, several times, from starvation. You see, I don't get hungry. I came prepackaged without the "warning system" installed that lets your brain know you need food.

It hits me fast and the next thing I know, I am beyond moody, and tired. When I get like this I'd rather go lie down and sleep off the hunger pains than go to the kitchen and prepare something.

The very thought of preparing food is too much for me.

I am alright with creating a breakfast or lunch. But I have a huge mental block on dinners. I HATE dinners. Showing up to a meal is perfect. Preparing one is torture!
One sure way to ruin my day is to realize it's getting late and the kids are hungry and I have NO thoughts on dinner plans.

Even if I did have dinner plans that would require I go grocery shopping. Another least-favorite hobby of mine.

So, do you see the bewilderment of my new found drive on nutrition?

What's going on here?

I don't want to put effort into educating myself on this topic.

I don't like it.

I didn't like it when I lived with my mother and she'd ask for help in the kitchen. I didn't sign up for these classes in College for a reason!

I am being asked to do something I really don't want to do!

I feel the Lord is telling me I need to become aware of the "nutrition" or the lack-thereof that my family is partaking.

Hummm....strange.

Bit by bit information has been placed in my lap! This stuff is coming to me.

The next thing I know I'm throwing away bags full of "junk" from my cupboards.

I'm talking to people with similar desires and getting great leads to some improvements.

Most recently, I found myself at the local library. While the kids were engaged at the kids section the thought came to me to find some cookbooks. I stood in the isle staring at the rows of books in front of me.
Having only a few minuets to choose I became frustrated. What was I looking for?

I offered a prayer for help then grabbed a handful of books and checked them out.

The following 48 hours I was reading profusely from those books. There is no doubt God wants me to know this stuff.

I spent the bulk of my day in the kitchen. Preparing Whole, Natural, Fresh food for all 3 meals of the day and a few snacks in between.

What satisfaction I felt...until it was time to clean up. I was exhausted.

My table is strewn with notes, books, lists, and recipes.
I had enough! My natural feelings of resentment toward the duties in the kitchen sent me into a terrible mood.

I don't want to do this all day!

I will be better off tomorrow for the knowledge i learned today.

But I have a feeling this isn't about me.


***Now here I am a full year later eating very different foods than I use to. This has been a step by step transition. I have learned so much about Nutrition. I have come a long way but still have the journey ahead. Another post, another day.