In honor of New Year’s and the “Resolution” that follows- I joined many Americans and stepped onto the treadmill for the first time in over a year. Hey, it wouldn’t be January if the home gym didn’t get dusted off, right?
I got on the treadmill this morning-when my body was begging me not to. I am so out of shape the thought of getting ready for my Triathlon this June hurts.
I think I have a running disorder. Some beast emerges when I run. I have this inner battle with two personalities I’m a little embarrassed to reveal. The first is positive and confident the second is mean and ugly!
When I am “in shape” I can manage these personalities- but when the workout hurts it’s WAR in my head.
I make up excuses and reasons to stop short of my goal over and over and over. Thankfully my inner strength kicks in at the right moment and I always make my goals and end triumphantly. But the battle repeats the next day. ( you can read about this battle I faced during my Triathlon last year, HERE)
I wonder if others have this disorder also? Another part of it is when I’m in the thick of the pain I get very irritated with my clothes! They feel like armor and I want them off! Underwear seems so liberating! Hummm... Perhaps another post another day.
I don’t love to exercise. In fact, I hate to run. I haven’t found my running love yet. Maybe someday it will come to me. As for now, I do it when I’ve committed to a race. And I sign up for these TRI’s to scare me into shape. (Except this logic didn’t really work last year. I showed up to a TRI without training, curious to see if I would DIE or not. I didn’t die. I almost did at the finnish line but nothing too serious that 3 footlong sandwiches couldn’t cure.)
So, this year I know just signing up for the TRI isn’t enough to “scare” me into shape. BUT having 10 other friends sign up with me sure does!
I have some competition! I MUST get into shape.
Today I ran 1 mile.
Yup, just one mile.
It took me 12:33 to do it too.
UGH! That sucks!