Hello? Are you there?

Last week I revisited my journals from my teenage years.    

Tears come when I remember who I wasTHEN and the feeling i get when revisiting them NOW.  

I was  explaining this experience to Sam and tears came uninvited.   

The strange thing is I didn’t quite understand “WHO” I was then, but Its clear to me now.  

Is that how I am?  Am I not seeing my true value of who I am today?

Obviously I am not the same person I was- nor should I be.  

Time has bettered me.  

Experience has changed me.

The connection I had with myself should be the same.

I laugh at my boldness in college and admire my commitment to my journal. 

I remembered how wonderful it feels to hear good things about myself.

My journals told me I was important, That I was loved.  

That I was beautiful and fun.  That I was a good friend.

 My journals lack that today. (Due to the fact that entries are few and far between.)

I want to do better in journal writing.  It’s who I am.

Nightmare Stories

Bedtime at our house is a process.  It takes far too long to get the last light out.

Our problem is my kids LOVE to read.  I turn out the light and before long they flip it on and retrieve a book behind the closed door.

My youngest, Abi, won't allow a single bedtime routine left undone.  Sometimes I try to skip the bathroom process (because it takes FOREVER).  It's only sucessful till I get out the door.  She riealzes it was skipped and calls out 

"Mom!  We forgot to potty!" 

The best part of the routine for her (and me) is the bedtime story.  I read one and ONLY one story.

Usually she loves a story so much she asks me to read it again the next night.  This is the case with our current book.

"Those stories are messed up!" Jace commented as I read them out loud.

I was thinking the same thing.

I have a problem with a lot of rhymes.

Old Mother Hubbard- tells of a starving dog.

Humpty Dumpty- death off a wall :0

Ladybug Ladybug:

A house fire and only one child surviving. 

The worst of them all are...

Why do we sing this to our babies?

We're singing about a baby falling out of a tree!

I looked into the origin of this lullaby and learned it had to do with Native Indian mothers hanging their babies in a birch bark cradle from trees to have the wind rock them to sleep.  That sounds a lot more comforting, right?

Did you know these lyrics refer to death?

The first outbreak of the Plague hit England in the 1300's. The symptoms of the plague included a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin (Ring around the rosy). Pockets and pouches were filled with sweet smelling herbs ( or posies) which were carried due to the belief that the disease was transmitted by bad smells. The term "Ashes Ashes" refers to the cremation of the dead bodies! The death rate was over 60% and the plague was only halted by the Great Fire ofLondon in 1666 which killed the rats which carried the disease which was transmitting via water sources.

This is how we view it:

this is how it began:

Hey kids, lets walk into a random house and help ourselves to their loot! ???What??

(kids should be alone in the forest anyway. haha)

This story is REALLY messed up.  It gave me the creeps as I read it a few days ago.  I should have stopped reading when they were lost in the forest and had eaten all the berries.  My 3 year old didn't seem to grasp the idea that a wicked witch kidnaps them, turns them into slaves and locks them up with the plan to cook them!  Horror story!!

Thankfully Gretel tricks the witch and tosses her into the fire first!  What???

I think I will stick to these favorites for bedtime 

**I think I may have written about this before but when I searched for it I didn't find it.

Punishments/kindness Mothers Day 2013

"My mom is best at punishment/kindness"

-Jennica

Mothers Day isn't a mothers day without sun and the scent of lilacs.  Today is defiantly Mothers Day!  It’s sunny, warm, and reeks of fresh blossomed flowers.  A perfect day!

Around 9am I woke to the noise of kids scurrying around in their rooms.

While passing Jennica’s room I saw her retrieving something from a hiding place, then found Jace downstairs penning a letter to me. (his second Mother’s Day gift to me)

After the cheers of “Happy Mothers Day!”I was questioned with “What would you like for Breakfast?”

I wasn’t in the mood for breakfast.  Sam and I went out to the Red Iguana last night for dinner and I ate enough to hold me over for a few days.  While walking out of the restaurant I jokingly said, “”too bad tomorrow isn’t fast Sunday.  It would be a breeze.“

Before scripture study everyone pulled out their homemade gifts.  Jennica painted flowers on a matted board with some notes.

Jace did what he has done in past years.  He brought his school made mothers day gift home on Friday.  It wasn’t even 5min inside the house when he announced he had my gift and wanted to give it to me.  I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted.  It was a rock painted white with lady bugs.  I LOVE it.  I’m going to use it as a paper weight.  

Since he gifted it Friday he decided to write me a letter today.  It was funny.  He expressed he was going to miss me when I die- Just like he is going to miss grandma great and grandma Trena.  Then he drew a graveyard. ☺ 

Jarom brought home a bag of bath salts that smell so good and has already suggested a few times I take a bath.

Sam purchased a tanning pass to a local salon. 

 My white skin needs major color. 

I doubt having a pool in the backyard is even enough to tan my skin.  It has been YEARS since I’ve carried a tan.  For some reason it’s not as easy as it was in high school.

I wore a bracelet jennica made for me a few years ago for mothers day and she was moved that I still had it and that I wanted to wear it.  It’s made out of buttons.  So cute!

Sam made pasta dinner (yum!) Right now I've locked myself in my room to blog.  This is one of my favorite things to do but don't get around to it often enough.

I love Mothers Day.  I can’t remember one that wasn’t bright and sunny or went without homemade love notes from my kids

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I remember being little and bringing home letters and gifts for my mom.  Mothers Day is also a special day for kids.  Expressing love and offering a gift to their mother is the best part of the day.  What child doesn't want to please their mother?  I still want to please my mother with kind words and freshly picked flowers (weeds)

Mothers are the best when they are also a best friend.  

My mom is mine.

I think I'm half way there in having Jennica being my best friend. Kindness follows pretty quickly from punishing.