Wednesday, March 31, 2010

3 days left?

I’m still “heavy with child” and surprisingly not miserable about it.

My due date is Saturday.

Morning after morning I climb out of bed and spend the entire day moving my pregnant body up and down stairs, bending over endlessly to pick up things off the floor and unpacking boxes.

I feel good.

Really tired at night but that’s a plus- at least I am sleeping.

With my other three pregnancies I was such a boob the last few weeks. I remember crying and feeling sorry for myself each morning I’d wake up and still be pregnant. My days were filled with hopes the baby would be early.

This time I have been praying the baby won’t be early. I have had so much to do.

I am ready now.

Grandma is being picked up at the airport this minuet and the laundry is done.

All my “little” things I wanted to have completed are done. (except the kitchen is a mess right now and it is driving me crazy but I’ll stay upstairs where I can’t see it and my lovely husband or mom will clean it for me!- standing at the sink washing pot and Pans and bending over the dishwasher with a huge tummy is not my idea of fun. I’ll use the pregnant card for as long as I can. It’s going to expire soon)

Last Saturday I thought the game was on! At 9:30pm I started having contractions that lasted till 1:30am.

Then I fell asleep and they stopped. At least that got the bag packed and car seat installed. We needed that little nudge. Sam packed the bag while I breathed.

Sam has had the week off work to help me get things put away and organized here at home. It has been fun having him around all day while the kids are at school. We got a lot done.

I love our new home. Just as it gets clean we unload more boxes and it’s a mess again. Things should stay clean now so I can really enjoy it.

It doesn’t feel complete quite yet- I think the baby will make the finishing touch.

We are all so anxious.

I am so glad we have waited to see what we are getting. It has made these last few days really exciting.

I’ve been telling Sam the baby is waiting for Grandma to get here before it arrives.

Now, I’m ready, and I think the baby is too???

New House...can't sleep

March 15, 2010 4:21 AM

It’s 4am and I can’t sleep. The baby is keeping me company, kicking and squirming inside of me.

Last night I feel asleep on the couch next to Sam reading and a fire in the fireplace. It was so cozy and peaceful.

I woke up to new noises that come with an unfamiliar house.

It’s pitch black. I’m not even quite sure where the light switches are. I need to get some night lights.

The wind is hassling the trees outside.

The house is still strewn with boxes.

As for now, I guess I’ll just wait till morning and see what the sunrise brings to my new life in my new house.

It’s kind of odd to be at a loss at 4:30am in an unfamiliar home.

Left alone with my thoughts is always welcome, but it’s REALLY dark. ☺

Farewell to Husted Lane

***Because of our recent move and lack of internet, I am posting journal entries now.

March 15, 2010 3:42 AM

The last load at Husted Lane was packed quickly. Suddenly the rooms were empty and we were off to our new home.
I found myself alone in the house closing windows and locking doors, and that’s when I got emotional.

As I pulled the blinds closed; my life at Husted Lane went dark. With the rain coming down outside and wind rattling the windows the tears came freely as I walked through the hall one more time. The finger prints on the walls were wiped clean, the bedrooms once full of personality now empty.

Our Home was now just a House.

I cried leaving the walls that protected my little family for five years. Husted Lane has been a paradise to me. It’s where I potty- trained my kids, taught them to read, ride bikes, and clean.

It’s where my “young” mothering days were formed.

From the beginning, I have always told Sam: “I’m going to cry when we leave this place.”

And there I stood, in the kitchen sobbing in his arms with our kids and our life waiting in the moving truck.

Life on Husted Lane was beautiful.

I stopped at the mail box on my way down the stairs and read our family name on the box. So many memories attached to so many things. It’s hard to put an end to good things.

Don, our Land Lord, stood under the garage door to keep dry and watched as we stuffed the last boxes into cars. I sat in the car and cried to mom on the phone, happy the rain was concealing my emotions. I’m going to miss him. He really took care of us.

As the moving truck pulled away I pulled up to him with a tear stained face and said good-bye.
“You were like my serrogant daughter” he said. “It’s not going to be the same around here.”

Leaving felt like a dream.

I’m still here- I’m just not there.

Our new house isn’t a home yet but each day we’re one empty box closer.

Friday, March 12, 2010

37 weeks

With three weeks to go and a move on the morrow I wonder if I'll capture another photo before the birth.
Here we all are wondering what flavor is inside!

Posted by Picasa

Posted by Picasa

Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

5 friends

Don’t underestimate the power of friends! Today five friends showed up to my house to help pack.
In 3 hours my walls were bare, closets empty, bathrooms hallow, and kitchen packed!

My five years of living here was tenderly gathered up and tucked away before I even finished my laundry!

I am so thankful these girls took the time to serve me.

Lastnight I put myself to bed at 6pm. To say I am tired would be an understatement.
There is NO way I could have done any of this alone. In fact, I didn’t do much at all with them here.

This morning I was a mess. I was on my knees begging for strength to get through this week.
My prayer was answered by 5 friends.

I can do this now.

Thank you Cholhe, Lindsay, Lillian, Jamie, & Michelle

PS- I’m thrilled that my house is packed but at the same time it seems rather sad that a household of 5 can be packed up in 3 hours!!
Further proof we live in a small space.
This move is going to be wonderful!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Snow Globe

Posted by Picasa

I've decided to take pictures of the kids art work instead of keeping them all. I pulled this out of Jennica's folder this morning and had a good laugh. I know what she meant to say but this still tells the truth.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Birth Plan

Posted by Picasa

In four short weeks my baby is due. What is the most important thing to me right now?....My Birth Plan.

Giving Birth is more than showing up to the Hospital.

To me, giving birth is allowing my body to perform its God ordained gift.

Mothers “GET“ to birth babies. This is what our bodies do. We are not SICK. Our bodies are NOT broken when we go into labor.

I don’t want to step into a Hospital and be treated like I have a ”Condition.“ I’m about to take part of the greatest miracle to humans.
Don’t tie me up to an IV or restrict me to a bed! Don’t watch the clock and monitor the drugs.

Stand back and watch my body work with God! I can’t wait!

Don’t get me wrong, I know there will be pain, but I truly feel labor should be an amazing Spiritual experience. (pain included)
Thus brings me to the ”Birth Plan.“ How do I view Birth?

I am on my 4th child and I’ve experienced all varieties of birth.

Jarom, was mostly Natural with a few doses of Nubian, delivered by a Mid-wife.
Jennica, I went in to be induced and upon arrival experienced major bleeding and was rushed off for Emergency C-Section. (talk about being in the right place at the right time!!!)
Jace, I had an Epidural. (Talk about easy birth experience!!)

This pregnancy I feel I want more out of the experience. I feel something has been missing.

A few weeks ago I realized I needed to be mentally ready for this birth. A lot is going on in my life right now (moving this weekend) and it has been easy to put aside the realization of the due date arriving soon. (hence, the lack of a boy name ).

My inner self has been warning me it’s time to get ready emotionally and mentally
But, I’ve done this 3 times...why the pressure? What was I looking for?

After talking to my sister about it she suggested I look up ”Spiritual Birth“ and see where it takes me.

That was exactly where I needed to go! (Thanks Sis!)

The ”Spiritual“ aspect of Labor has been missing. I have viewed birth as a condition- not the miracle it is.
After a few trips to the Library I found the perfect book that offered the perspective I was searching for. I read the book in two settings.

Today I watched a Documentary on Birth and feel ashamed that I wasn’t educated about this BEFORE my 1st child.

My body isn’t any different today, than the women 1000 years ago who trusted their bodies to handle birth. I feel I feared birth because of the way our culture views it, and the way I was treated each time I gave birth. It was too much scheduling, monitoring, restrictions, tests. If I didn’t keep to the rules my baby would be in danger!!
Talk about giving up the power of our bodies to the natural man!

Technology is wonderful if something goes wrong. That’s what its for. (Like Jennica’s Birth) But it saddens me that I didn’t trust my body to do what we are created to do! I know PAIN is in the forefront of our minds when we opt out but consider the gift it really is. I never thought of it that way.
I just went with the flow. Did what my Dr. told me to, and showed up at the Hospital when it hurt!

For some reason this time was different. I listened to my body first and then my Dr. I found myself refusing most of the blood work and ultrasounds because they seemed unessary. I just wanted to pay attention to my body. I didn’t know exactly why. I just didn’t want to do it all. Now I see that was the beginning of trusting my body.
I knew everything was fine. My Dr. wanted test’s to prove that. Just like the Hospital will want the machines to tell them and me when I should deliver.

Does that sound right?

Showing up to the Hospital won’t cut it for me this time. My Dr. won’t deliver this baby.

My body will.

Will it hurt? Yes. Because my body is ALLOWING life to come forward. My body knows what to do, and it will do it if I TRUST it.

I think it’s all in the way you view Labor. If you feel your body is broken because you are going into Labor you go to the Hospital and they will take away the pain and ”fix“ you.

If you feel your body is doing what is Necessary to bring forth Life, you surrender to it!

What a challenge.

(With this newfound knowledge I realize I have a problem. The Hospital I am registered to birth at does not allow Freestanding Birth. When I check in I will be monitored and hooked up to an IV and probably confined to a bed. That leaves no room for allowing my body to move as it needs. Therefore, tomorrow we will be calling a Birthing Center out of town to see if they will take a new patient 36 weeks along! If not, plan B is to labor as long as I can at home and arrive at the Hospital to push.
Further proof that we lead a Spontaneous Life. Who makes changes like this in the 11th hour? The Hobi’s ALWAYS do!)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Photo of the Week

Posted by Picasa

Posted by Picasa

Posted by Picasa

The best part of Shadow Pictures is it doesn't matter what you are wearing or if your hair is not perfect!!
It's all about shapes...and I've got SHAPE these days!
I played with the focal B&W to add a little "Glow" to my belly and to some bricks.
It's a perfect day today!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010


I am one Grumpy Mama Bear!

Please tell me it’s just a phase, I’ll grow out of it soon. (sooner than later for my kids’ sake)

Jace told me he didn’t like my attitude when I refused to play Dora and Boots with him.

My attitude really does stink.

Inside I feel as crusty as I probably look.

I lack the spunk I use to have.

I’m just a waddling, grump.

It can’t be because I’m tired of being pregnant.

I’m Not. I need this baby to stay in there.

I have a house to pack and unpack.

Grandma isn’t coming till the 30th and she and I have plans to unpack and get settled before the bundle arrives.

I am perfectly ok with it even showing up late!!!

So, is this a normal pregnancy hormonal issue?

It seems I’m always grumpy at the end.

No one likes to hang out with a Grump...not even a 4 year old.

Crawl in my skin!!!

I have an issue with the phone.

If you want to see me crawl in my skin, ask me to call up someone and ask for something!

I can’t stand to do that!

I don’t mean like calling for Pizza- that one I can do.

For instance, this week I was asked by the Scout Master to contact our local Tae Kwon Do studio to see if they would be interested in participating in our Blue and Gold Banquet teaching our boys a few Tae Kwon Do moves.

We have a Black Belt in our home so I have done my fair share of hanging out with the Masters.
The thought of doing this STILL made me want to hide under my bed.

I willingly accepted the assignment, at the same time backpedalling in my mind, wondering how I could get away without doing it!

I let a few days go by without even making the attempt to contact them.

I floated the idea past Sam to see if he would take the bate and rescue luck.

So, this morning I thought I found a way around it!

I figured I’d call the Studio first thing in the morning when they WEREN’T there and I could leave a message!

8:30am I dialed the number with my speech ready to go.

I guess it’s the dialogue that I’m uncomfortable with. Leaving a message and waiting for an answer is SO much better!

After a few rings and expecting the machine the MASTER PICKED UP THE PHONE!!!!

Panic! !!! What is he doing in the Studio so early?? Classes don’t start till noon!!!

Ughh.....“Hi Master Hwang! It’s Ember Hobi, Jarom Hobi’s mother......” I spit out.

Needless to say, I made it through the phone call alive but my blood pressure shot up and I my insides were a mess!

If I never had to use the phone I’d get a long just fine.

Email, letters,blogging that’s my style!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How we roll

I am a Taylor. In our family that means a few things.
1) You talk loud on the phone
2) You MOVE a lot.

Change is something I grew up with. If we weren’t moving houses I was rearranging my room. I like a fresh environment time to time.

So, naturally I am GAME when Sam comes up with a Big Idea.

The first 5 years of marriage we moved something like 8 times.

Then something happened.

We found a nice quiet place on Husted Lane and we didn’t leave for 5 years!!

Without realizing it, I had planted roots.
I created zillions of memories with my kids under the same roof year after year.

Traditions repeated with each Holiday and child after child attended the same school with the same Kindergarten teacher.

Change was replaced with Comfort.

Time does what it does best and recently I found change was inevitable.

My family of 5 is growing into 6. My kids are not little anymore and our paradise on Husted Lane is busting at the seams.

Today I find myself filled with a lot of emotions, and the root of them is due to CHANGE.

It’s time to say good-bye to the COMFORT of my life and accept the world of change that is ahead.

In two weeks we will bid farewell to Husted Lane and introduce CHANGE to our growing family.

In two weeks the roof over our head will offer new noises, smells, textures, space, and life!

I am thrilled about the prospects but afraid of the unknown. That’s unlike me.
Maybe it’s because I have LOVED it so much here I am afraid it can’t be replaced??

Our new place is still in the same town and it’s going to be great, but its scary to walk away from our “little”, cozy, familiar home into a cold, empty, bigger one.

I lay awake at night trying to insert our life now into that empty house.

I am out of practice.

We move in on the 15th, the baby is due to arrive 19 days later....that’s how we roll.