Monday, October 8, 2012

My love affair is ending...




I’m in love.  I’m being seduced every second of every day.  
This love affair is messing with my emotions...

My seducer... Fall in Connecticut.  I never tire of the colors, the chilly air, or the constant blanket of leaves on the ground.  Each year the same trees display a different show.  I drive more slowly, take more walks, and carry a camera in my purse during the month of October.  I’ve observed the “BEST” display of colors is around the 15th of Oct.  Most the leaves are at their peak color and haven’t fallen yet.
This time of year I believe I live in the prettiest place on Earth.

Winter has it’s perks too but they are short lived.  The first fall of snow is beautiful in a majestic way but near March it has overextended it’s stay.  By March I am depressed, gravitating to the sun filled window searching for light and warmth like a cat.

In my opinion, Spring doesn’t exist,  April offers a few teasing warm days but the jackets aren’t put away till May.  The dull branches that use to be a source of my adoration are frail and the flowering buds are shy to be revealed.

Summer arrives just in time for school to be out in June.  The trees are dressed again in deep green.  It’s like living in the Garden of Eden. Our days are spent at the pool while we anxiously await the return of our friends from their Global vacations.  
We mostly do “Stay-cations”, which Jace has renamed “Boring Activities.” 

Summer after summer I wish we were in Utah to go camping with the cousins, have sleepovers with Grandma, and enjoy summer fun.
In November I wish we could have Thanksgiving dinner with people we were related to.
In December I wish we could attend a family Christmas Party and enjoy family traditions
but these events have never happened!  Not once!
In January were snowed in and love sledding in our backyard but wouldn’t it be fun to share it with cousins?
With Sam’s work schedule and the fact that you can’t spend the night anywhere without dropping $$$ we stay at home.
Winter break is spent at home.
Spring Break is spent at home.
And Labor Day weekend (along with most 3 day weekends) we stay at home.

We have enjoyed road trips to most Church History sites on the East Coast.
We’ve lived here for 10 years and have exhausted all low budget and local activities.

I’ve missed weddings, funerals, babies, baptisms, cruises, birthdays, Mother’s Day, and reunions!

 A single trip to Utah for the 6 of us is out of our budget.
Instead I settle for “Get Away” trips where I sneak away without the kids and spend time with my family.  

My kids don’t know their cousins.  
They don’t know their 6 Uncles, 5 Aunts and 20+ cousins. 
They don’t know what Grandma’s house looks like and they don’t know their grandpa. 
They get gifts and cards from Sam’s family but don’t get the chance to put the face to the name most the time.

It’s been said that a child who is loved and supported by other adults, along with their parents, is more likely to have greater self worth. 

I would love for my kids to spend time with extended family.  

When I’m in Utah for my get away trips I feel like I can breath again.  I don’t realize how wound up I am here until I go there and it feels like time slows down and I can breath again.  I find myself jealous of the cost of living, the big sky, the close proximity to Temples and family lifestyle that exists there.Returning home is always hard.  

I am in L-O-V-E with the beauty of Connecticut.  But I would give it up to be closer to a family centered life.
The colors on the leaves are tugging at my heart strings but I’m going to let them go.

We are moving to Utah...soon

"Psst"...the kids don't know.  Please don't spill the beans till further notice. :)


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Insanity


 
in·san·i·ty [in-san-i-tee]
   the condition of being insane;  a derangement of the mind. 


Given my current state of mind, and recent contact with a Physiologist, I think it only fitting that I take on a new workout challenge called INSANITY!
I'm hearing exercise is a great step in improving depression. 
I gave it a try...didn't last long. (humm...imagine that!)  

I pulled a no show for a Triathlon I signed up for (and got 15 other people to sign up for too..sorry!) and apparently left some friends hanging this morning for a bike ride!!  ( Just read the email about meeting outside my house at 7am. oops!) 

I'm pathetic! 

Sam is such a stud right now.  He's almost done with P90X.  He lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of MUSCLES!! (woot woot!)  I watch him manage every calorie that enters his mouth, as I relish in my ice cream addiction.

My drug of choice is ice cream.  I putter around like Eeyore all day and then snuggle up to a pint (never less) of Ben and Jerry's.  I seriously feel so much better after my pint is gone.  It even cured my "I've-been-crying-all-day-head-ache" that tortured me for about 5 hours.
Some people go to alcohol, or drugs, to escape their depression.  i totally get it.  


This one is my favorite.  I eat it right out of the carton!


I'm stuck in the cycle of feeling down so I eat ice cream to feel better for the night then wake up and start counting the hours till I can escape in my ice cream again.  (I'll never break it out mid-day.  I would have to share it! :)  

See, isn't this addictive behavior?  Maybe I should start attending Addictive Recovery Classes!

Thankfully, ice cream isn't as harmful as alcohol or drugs, but I escape to it probably just the same and it is leaving it's mark on my body.

It's been 3 months since my depression set in, and today I took a good look in the mirror.  I literally did...
I went to Kohl's and tried on a few items.  I had no idea my body looks the way it does!  There's something about those changing room lights!
I can tell you right where the ice cream is sitting!! 

I've got to get my life back! 

I did exercise yesterday and today (does learning Hannah Montana's Hoedown Throwdown Dance count??) and I'll admit they were my more productive days. (Productive to a LOW standard...I never got out of my pj's)

Insanity is a 60 day workout which includes a nutrition plan.  That's just what I need.  I'm pretty sure B&J won't be showing up on the menu!  And it takes the work out of Meal ideas!  
I HATE COOKING MEALS!!!
The "normal ME" likes a good workout and can handle a challenge so this might kick my butt, but I'm really hoping that it kicks my butt in gear!

Maybe this will be enough to self-medicate the depression.??
I know it's crazy to do something as extreme as Insanity.  I hear it's HARD.  I'm actually excited to DO something for once!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Fingers and toes make me look bad





Why is it hard for me to remember to clip my children’s fingernails and toenails?
They stay hidden until piano lessons, where they are grossly displayed week after week- on all 3 kids!.
“Ugh!” I cringe inside.  How do I miss that at home?!

After weeks of embarrassment I vow to arrive to piano with all 30 fingers neatly cut and CLEAN!
I don’t remember about this vow until we’re in the car to the next weeks piano lesson and I pass out baby wipes with instructions to dig under the nail!

The rest of the drive I am trying to visualize myself cutting their nails in hope that it will get me closer to action.
The problem is I can’t find those darn clippers!  They are never around when I need them!  Or when I do have them the kids aren’t around!

I do remember holding a pair (like a new found treasure) and making a deliberate effort to place them where I could return to them at a later time.  Problem is...I can’t remember where that deliberate place is!?!

Should be obvious right?  In a drawer?  On the piano?  Nope!

None of my kids like their toes to be touched.  They retract their feet every time I go for their nails.  I don’t get it.
Toenails are gross, fingernails are too. 
They make me look like a bad mother.
They scream: “My Mom lets me do whatever I want!  I don’t even need to take a bath!”
You know the school teachers aren’t seeing the grime under their nails and blaming it on the kids!  It’s that crazy mother that doesn’t keep up on  hygiene!

I don’t even want to go to the dirt patches behind the ears!

Looking forward to the long days at the pool where the chlorine will do the dirty work for me! haha!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Great things



Great things are happening in the Hobi Home!
Sometimes I am up all night working on "Project India" and other nights I'm in bed before the baby.
Most my blog posts are geared to India these days.  Swing on over to www.EmberInIndia.blogspot.com to see what we've been up to.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Photo Card

Cubes Tangerine Baby Announcements
Birth announcements, Valentine's cards, & invitations by Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Fears



My new baby was past due for a feeding.  I considered myself lucky that she was still sleeping and busied myself about the house trying to pick up as much as I could before she would monopolize my arms again.
All the while inside I was uneasy.
I went to the bottom of the stairs and listened for a cry.
Nothing.
I continued to clean but still felt uneasy.
I decided I would go wake her.

When I got to the top of the stairs tears filled my eyes when I heard her faint cry.
She had been crying for me.
I rushed into the room to find she had worked her way under the comforter I pulled back to avoid this very scenario. 
She was just far enough under no matter how she turned her head she coudn’t escape it.

I was so angry at myself.  I was so angry I wasn’t there when she needed me.
I didn’t hear her cry from the stairs  because her cry was muffled.

I picked her up and cried with her, wondering how long she had been in distress.

I never want to feel that feeling again.

Today my baby is almost two years old. 
Today, I just realized the result of this event is showing up in her life.

I spent two hours on the phone Friday with my Homeopathy Doctor discussing Jennica’s health. 

To better understand what remedies would work for Jen she asked me tons of questions about her life.  
Things like:
What kind of baby was she?  How were her sleeping habits, was she grumpy as a child?  Does she make friends easily?
What does she dream about? What does she like to do in her spare time?  Does she like to be held or does she prefer her space?

Curious, I asked her why these answers matter.  She explained understanding a childhood could uncover situations that may have caused stress that show up in your body or behavior later.
We picked through Jennica’s life searching for something that would give insight to her weight gain.

It wasn’t until this afternoon I made a connection to Abi.

To this day she hates having her shirts pulled over her head.  She whimpers when it’s time to put her head through the shirt.  I never understood why.
Today it all made sense.  It was the blanket she was stuck under as a 2 month old.

Knowing this doesn’t make her fear go away but it does give me more understanding.
It’s my responsibility as her parent to work with her to overcome this fear.  I am so sad I had part in creating this fear but thankful the Lord showed it to me today.

She was easy.  I didn’t have to go too far back to find this issue.  The hard part is figuring out YEARS of mistakes made on the other kids.

I’m reminded at how delicate little children are.  One bad day from me could show up on them down the road.  
Being a parent is tough work!
I wish I had this insight 4 kids ago!  I’d count to 10 more often and give more hugs!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dear Santa




Dear Santa,

I know this letter is a bit unconventional, but I have an urgent matter to discuss with you.
 My kitchen is requiring way too much of my time!
As you know, I am a mother of 4 growing kids.  My life is too short to be living in the kitchen!

If I spent the required time it takes to keep my kitchen clean I’m afraid I would miss out on all the cute songs my baby sings, the practices at the piano, and the sports my boys participate in.

I’ve put some thought into the situation and have decided all I REALLY want for the rest of my life is a Kitchen Fairy.  I’m pretty sure this isn’t a “HOT ITEM”, in fact I’ve never heard of anyone having one so the supplies won’t be in high demand.

I’m willing to forfeit the Tooth Fairy (she’s been great by the way.) the Easter Bunny (He never shows up) and the Hobi Hobbit ( the kids will kill me!) 

I’m pretty sure IF I had the Kitchen Fairy I would be the best girl EVER.

My husband would love it because I would actually paint my nails like the other women who don’t do dishes, and he wouldn’t trip over the dishwasher door that is left open more times than not.

My Kids would love it because I would be more loving from sun up to sun down.  I wouldn’t have the mess staring at me all day long, and I wouldn't get so annoyed when it was time to eat.  

I can handle the rest of the house, for now.  I’ll ask the MR. for the Housekeeper when baby #5 comes around.

The make and model can be up to you...just don’t make me look bad.

You’re the BEST!
Ember                          

PS: Shipping and Handling is FREE if delivered tomorrow!
Oh, and one more thing...My Mom fits the description of a "Kitchen Fairy" I tested her out last summer and she was wonderful.  Either send her to me or send her a man.  























Monday, February 20, 2012

Last day



I enjoyed my week of "Staycation"  
I think the kids enjoyed it too.  The weather here has been fantastic!
They've been riding bikes, playing football, and blowing bubbles
outside like it was Spring.

Jace asked if he could play water games outside-it wasn't that warm, but the air obviously felt different to him.


Jennica has mastered the Hula-Hoop!  She can even do it while looking bored!



  Abi has become addicted to frozen Strawberries pulls on you till you follow her into the kitchen then she bats her pretty eyes and signs "More Strawberries please"
I have red handprints all over my walls. 
NEW RULE: Abi only gets strawberries while sitting in her highchair!




Jace has been pretending to be Wonka, hiding golden tickets around the house. 
(No candy to be found though)
He put on the Dr. Seuss Hat and carried a skii pole for a cane.
(Missed that photo opportunity)
Sam took over in the kitchen this weekend.  I love that my Man can cook!


I found Abi sitting alone at the table snacking on cheese while she waited for dinner to be ready.


Today is Presidents Day.  This means no school and no work.  All the Hobi’s were at home.
Sam and Jarom spent most the afternoon playing basketball, Jennica and Jace played out in the yard, Abi took a nap all afternoon and I cleaned all day.

I took another shot at the jump rope workout and liked it a lot better today. (No accidents! ha!) With the right music I think jumping is a good workout.  Instead of 1 song I went through 3 and then did some lunges.
I feel so much better when I exercise!  It got me moving the rest of the day.

For Family Home Evening we played a new game called What’s Yours Like?

We had a good time.  I ended as the CHAMPION this round!  It’s a fun game for bigger kids.  Our youngest is 6 and only needed a little help.



 Root beer Floats for dessert!  Jarom's favorite.
  Tomorrow better be kind to me.  I'm out of practice with schedules.







Sunday, February 19, 2012

I'm getting old ~ Part One



One day you will wake up and realize you’re not young anymore.  I can’t imagine this transition of aging is something that will knock you over one day, but I do think it will sneak up on you.

As a “young adult” old age was obvious.  I could see it in the hair line, the body and the face.  As I get older that fine line is a bit hazy.

I am afraid I am getting old.

I’m not giving up on my youth all together!  I am only 33 years old, and I’m afraid that puts me smack in the middle of Young and Old!  

I still feel young but my body is reminding me that I’m leaning closer to OLDER.  (or maybe I’m just out of shape?)

I woke up one morning and caught a glimps of my reflection in the mirror.  
I looked old.
I corrected the reflection by putting on my tight jeans, make up and taking a straightner to my hair.
Ahhh...youth restored.

I like that I am the “Young Mom” in all of my kids classes. 
  I’m ok with that.  
Jarom likes to bring up parents ages to his friends.
  He get’s a kick out of learning his friends have parents in their 50’s.  

I’m starting to see the benefits of being older too.  
WISDOM is at the top of the list.  I’m looking forward to MORE of it.

When I was young I remember my mom and her sisters laughing so hard one of them would pee their pants.  I was shocked to learn of this!
When I got a little older I learned “Mothers” couldn’t jump on a trampoline any longer because they would pee their pants!!
I witnessed my Mom giving the trampoline a shot and you can bet I watched carefully to see if she would loose control of her bladder.  
She didn’t!  
BUT she bounced in a goofy way, with her arms out and stiff knees as if she was afraid to give her weight to each bounce.

Each of these were examples of AGEING, to me.  In my mind, I assumed I would be OLD when things like that happened to me.

Well...the proof is in the pudding!  I am OLD!!

Yesterday, I decided to step it up a notch and start jump roping again. 
My goal is to jump rope the entire duration of 1 song.  I picked this workout. but only did this song 

As I started jumping AGE slapped me right in the face!!
I was totally thrown off!  I couldn’t believe what just happened....
I almost peed my pants!
"NO!!!!!"
  I tried to ignore it but I had NO control what so ever!!
It just happened!  
I froze for a minuet weighing out my options.
If I keep jumping will I REALLY pee my pants?
Jennica was jumping with me too.  She stopped because I stopped.  
"Keep going" I urged her.  

The deal was we would jump till the song was over.  
She saw this as "Mom being a slacker" because it turned out harder than it sounded.
I began jumping again, lifting my feet as lightly as I could.  
Eventually I was able to jump with more confidence, but the entire time I was begging the song to get over.

What’s wrong with me?  
How did this happen?  
I’m only 33 years old!!!
I'm an athlete! 
Then I remembered....I’ve had 4 kids!
I'll never be the same.
BUT...
my mom had 7 kids and she makes OLD look GREAT!
I hope I'm a Hot Grandma like her!
(ps- she is single... 
Contact me for more information!)

Life's like a Jump Rope...


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Winter Break


This week the kids have been out of school for Winter Break.  Winter still hasn’t shown up but we like the break nonetheless.

Like always, we are doing a “Stay”cation.  
I LOVE being at home with no where to go!!!
I’m taking a break from all my duties around here too.  Our days have been filled with NOTHING!

Ahhhhh.....
it feels so good!


Jarom goes to basketball camp every morning.  He is turning into an awesome baller.
(He's also a Trend Setter.)


Jennica makes breakfast ALL by herself for the whole family!  (I’m loving this skill she’s developing)

YUm!

Jace has listened to his favorite audio books 
The Witches

and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.


and then watched both the movies.


I’ve been reliving the past as I’ve backed up journals and photos on the hard drive.
I backed up 15,000 pictures (Not kidding) from my computer and then condensed it to 3,000.

My computer is YOUNG again now that I freed up space.

Just to make it feel like a vacation, we've let 3 older kids sleep together at night.
They are so bad a sleepovers!

Monday night they decided they wanted to sleep in the basement...
They all ended up in their own beds by morning.

Tuesday night they decided to sleep in the living room on the pull out couch...
They fought forever (over spots) before falling asleep.

Wednesday night they tried the basement again...
all 3 were upstairs by 4am.

Tonight they are, once again, on the couch...
I can still hear them giggling, farting, and fighting. 

It's just one big party all night long!

Sam is in Canada for business today.  His flight just landed.  
I bet he'll walk into a house of rowdy kids and a 
wife snoozing upstairs.
(dishes and laundry NOT even close to being done, of course!!)
Having all 4 kids home doing nothing take a lot out of me. :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

BAD hair days



I’ve been known to have a bad hair day.
Jennica is the first to let me know.
 Sadly, today trumphs them all.

I called up my hair stylist begging for her help.
One day I woke up and my hair was all wrong!

My right side seemed way longer than the left.
Just to be sure I wasn’t loosing my mind I checked with Sam.

Sure enough, it was way longer!

I don’t remember it being that way the last time I had my hair done. (3 months ago)
How does something like this just happen?

My stylist took one look at my hair and told me I fried it with my hair dryer!

Humm...

Really?

  I never saw a GLOP of hair fall to the floor or smelled it burning.  I just looked at my hair one day and it was GONE!

So, my LONG locks were chopped off today!  I lost about 4 inches to even it up.  
What a bummer.  

The good news is she covered up my GREY that sneaks out around my temples.

Last week I had a different bad hair day caught on camera
 I stopped into a local Rite Aide to have my Visa Pictures taken.
It wasn't planned,
 I just happened to see the sign on the window while I was buying piano books from the store next door.
My kids need Visa pictures too (along with Passport pictures that I took) so I figured RIGHT THEN was the best time to get it done. 
 Jace and Jennica were with me so we ran inside.
I realized this was a bad idea when the camera was pointing in my face.
AHHH!  My hair!
"DON'T smile" the woman warned me.  "You can't smile in these pictures!"
That comment alone gets you thinking about being a criminal.
I stood there staring blankly at her totally unaware that my hair was doing the
funkadelly...

I have guilty written ALL over me, don't I? 
(or is that brown guck? why is my face that color?)
I'm not sure a smile would make this picture any better.
All I need is my inmate number.
It only gets better...
These are my kids with their WORST hair day ever!

 someone call Family Services!

This is sad.  
I'll take a better look at all of us the next time we go out in public.
I promise we don't always look this way.
These are the pictures that will be attached to our Indian Visas.
We just might not get accepted...


On a LOVING note:
Grandma and Grandpa Christiansen send us these every Valentines Day

I LOVE these! 
I helped eat them.
It made me feel better about my hair.
THANK YOU Wes and Kathy!!