Sometimes I put on an extravert hat. I don’t wear it often but when I do, I think I wear it well...most the time.
Last month I wore it and ended up planning a Neighborhood Party. I hate things of that sort. For me they are awkward and painful to endure.
It happened on accident really. A family dear to us was moving and another neighbor mentioned we should have a neighborhood party before they left.
I happen to be a Block Captain for our Community Emergency Response Team and they advise us to hold block parties once a year to connect with our assigned block. I wasn’t going to do it. The thought of it made me want to throw up, but a going away party for a family I loved had a complete different effect on me. I was all in.
I agreed a Neighborhood party would be nice, and I would just count it toward my obligation! Invitations were made and just like that I was hosting/Co-Hosting a Party I never would have attended otherwise.
Oddly enough, I didn’t stress over the event days prior to Party time. On a Hot July evening Neighbors showed up with Pot Luck items, kids cooled off with water balloons, and adults relaxed with wine and conversation until we couldn’t see through the dark. I enjoyed meeting the many new move-in’s and found myself actually enjoying their company. Everyone seemed to be “People, People” I felt like the only Introvert wearing an extrovert hat!
While at the party, a new family I really liked invited me to their House warming party the following weekend and I gladly accepted! In that moment I truly thought I’d enjoy attending. “I’ll be there!” I committed on the spot.
The rest of the week I dreaded it. Every. Single. Day!
All week I was an anxious mess when I thought about going. My insides would turn and I felt regret and dread for accepting the invite.
The day arrived. I bought them a gift and I litteraly moped like a wounded dog as I walked the short distance to their house, wishing I was under the covers at home instead.
Deep inside (WAY deep down inside) I was proud of myself for going through with it, and not dragging my husband along with me. This is outside of my comfort zone in a huge way and I wanted to show up. For me!
Two and a half hours later I left their house with a plate full of Indian food and some new friends. I stayed two hours and 15min. longer than I wanted to. Many times I wanted to text my husband something like: 😫🤯🥵🥴 but instead I decided to be brave and be in the moment. I never pulled out my phone. I forced myself to be SOCIAL! I joined the group pictures, ate food among strangers, and made small talk with at least 5 other people. It was AWFUL to be honest! They were wonderful. The party was welcoming. The only problem was I’m an Introvert. It was an Introvert’s Nightmare...and I rose to the occasion!
I arrived at the party feeling like:🥺 During the party I was🥳 🙄and I left the party like 🤯
I was exhausted. My head was in a daze. My emotions were everywhere. I felt like I needed to sit down and process it all. I tried to explain to my husband how awesome I just was at being an extrovert but I didn’t have the words. I didn’t want to talk. He reached for me to give me a hug, proud I was away so long, but I recoiled like a threatened snake.
“Don’t touch” I half laughed but mostly begged. “I need space!”
#IntrovertProblems
