Monday, June 2, 2014

Updates ready to be installed


I drop my 12 year old off at Middle school wondering how we’ve arrived here already.  I hear my 11 year old daughter FaceTime with her friends in the next room and remember how my phone was attached to the wall by a cord.

I don’t read bedtime stories to my 9 year old anymore.  Instead, he is writing his own creative stories that entertain me.

My youngest is 4 and she is the only one I understand.  Her underwear has Olaf reassuring me of her youth.  Her toothpaste is sparkly blue and her favorite toy is a ladybug umbrella, but she has already figured out she can call Grandma on my iPhone by giving Seri the correct demand without needing my password.

I didn’t anticipate their world taking a HUGE shift so quickly.  
Out with the old and in with the new happens so quickly I can’t pull the price tag off fast enough.

Wednesday is the last day of school.  They grow like weeds in the summer.

Each morning I realize I need a parenting App updated.
I need instant download ASAP

Thursday, February 13, 2014

A Faking Beggar


I just spent 3 weeks in India.   Everytime I return to America I immediately appreciate the cleanliness, and order that exists here.
The streets are quiet.  The streets are clean.  The streets are animal free.  The streets lack beggars.
I was driving into town yesterday appreciating all those things but then again I remembered I had seen beggars here before!

A ”homeless“ man in a wheelchair sits at the entrance of a shopping complex.  He looks different from the beggars in India but he is asking for handouts nonetheless.
As I drove pass his spot I looked for him but he wasn’t there.  I wondered if he had given up.  As I went about my way I continued to compare him to the beggars of India.

He sat in a wheelchair...so did some of them.
He wore ragged clothes...so did they.
He looked un kept...so did they
He held a sign that read ”Anything helps.“..they clasped their hands over their heart suggesting this plea.

The first time I saw the man in the wheelchair I immediately thought he was faking.  He isn’t really homeless, I concluded.
Across the intersection was also was a woman, not that much older than me, pacing the cars at a street light with a cardboard sign reading ”Single mom.“

In this one spot of my town there are 2 quiet beggars.  I doubted both of them. 

I just returned from a place where a hand was thrust out at every turn wanting from me.  Eventually I got pass feeling sorry for the indians and gave away smiles instead, knowing I could never satisfy them. 

As I compared these two situations that exist in 2 different worlds I realized I HAD been more sympathetic to a different culture.
Why was it that I didn’t give a second thought to help the man on my street corner but I’d travel to a 3rd world country and offer more compassion to people suffering with leprosy (the "lowest cast) instead!?

I don’t know the truth from any beggars standpoint.  Maybe it’s sincere, maybe it’s their 2nd income.  How am I to know?
Jesus teaches us to Feed the hungry and clothe the naked, right?  Is there a stipulation to this that we need to consider first?

An hour had passed when I returned near that spot to pick up gorceries  only to find the man in the wheelchair was now there!  As I turned into the entrance my eyes met his.  I saw him and I know he saw me see him.  I watched him through my rear view mirror with conflicting thoughts.  
After my shopping I sat in my car and wondered ”What would Jesus do?“ 

My husband has been an example to our family on this very topic.  He will always stop and give something whether it be coins or dollars. He has even given gum or a sandwich..whatever  he has with him!   
Our kids once asked: ”Dad, what if they are faking?“  
His response is:  ”What if God is testing you?“ 

I decided I was going to give the man in the wheelchair some cash.  I pulled next to him and rolled down the passenger window.  He scooted forward while I wadded up my donation and tossed it for an easier exchange.  He caught it and rewarded me with a ”God Bless Ma’am.“  I wished him to stay warm and drove away with his runny yellow discharged eyes branded on my mind.
Looks like I need a paradigm shift.  I've become a faking giver.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

India Chapter 3 2014



I am returning to India!
I'm going to work in leprosy colonies with Rising Star Outreach again.  Although I know what to expect (this being my 3rd time there) I still have the jitters.
I experience culture shock every time I go.  Life there is incomparable to my life here in the US.

Being in India is life changing for me.  I say that because my life litterlay changes while I'm there.  I am a different person.  I leave my husband ( whom I am thankful supports me) & 4 kids along with the roles I play to each of them behind to be...me?

I am ME in India, and quite frankly I get out of practice on being just ME.
India offers me unlimited "reflection"time.  Everything I see, hear, smell, and taste is...strange.
Having all 4 senses offended at once causes me to seek comfort quickly.  In a third world country "comfort" isn't out for the taking.  After being uncomfortable long enough I realize I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable.  (That's a humbling and sometimes humilitating experience)

I LOVE my stay at home mom calling, and I think I've hidden behind some of the titles that go along with it.   My first trip to India in 2011was the first time I stood alone as myself, Ember, since I was married.
Imagine what it would feel like leaving a job you've had for 15 years.  Wether you loved the job or not, that first day off would be a bit awkward, right?  So it is with me while I am in India.
I'm like a fish out of water at first.
I'm getting better at it, it's opportunities such as these that push me out of my comfort zone that show me who I am.  Each time I step up to be Me the next time is slightly eaiser.
I'm still nervous when I film an event, my hands still shake when I take pictures and I've been doing these things for years.  I'm obviously taking it slow. :)

Because I AM a mom, and I AM a wife I want to be ME for them too.  I want to show them what I look like being passionate over something personal.  I want to show them what I look like being "out of Character" while trying new things.  I want to show them WHO I am.
In 2012 I took my family along with me to India.  We all served in the Leprosy colonies and played with the school kids.  They saw me in my element and I saw them grow in uncomfortable circumstances.  They supported me.  They learned who their mom IS and my husband saw ME. (Probably something he hadn't seen in awhile)

I am passionate about photography
I am passionate about videography
I am passionate about writing
I am passionate about India

I'm hanging up my stay at home mom hat for the time being but when I return it's a better fit.

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened" ~Laozi