Sunday, June 24, 2012


in·san·i·ty [in-san-i-tee]
   the condition of being insane;  a derangement of the mind. 

Given my current state of mind, and recent contact with a Physiologist, I think it only fitting that I take on a new workout challenge called INSANITY!
I'm hearing exercise is a great step in improving depression. 
I gave it a try...didn't last long. (humm...imagine that!)  

I pulled a no show for a Triathlon I signed up for (and got 15 other people to sign up for too..sorry!) and apparently left some friends hanging this morning for a bike ride!!  ( Just read the email about meeting outside my house at 7am. oops!) 

I'm pathetic! 

Sam is such a stud right now.  He's almost done with P90X.  He lost a lot of weight and gained a lot of MUSCLES!! (woot woot!)  I watch him manage every calorie that enters his mouth, as I relish in my ice cream addiction.

My drug of choice is ice cream.  I putter around like Eeyore all day and then snuggle up to a pint (never less) of Ben and Jerry's.  I seriously feel so much better after my pint is gone.  It even cured my "I've-been-crying-all-day-head-ache" that tortured me for about 5 hours.
Some people go to alcohol, or drugs, to escape their depression.  i totally get it.  

This one is my favorite.  I eat it right out of the carton!

I'm stuck in the cycle of feeling down so I eat ice cream to feel better for the night then wake up and start counting the hours till I can escape in my ice cream again.  (I'll never break it out mid-day.  I would have to share it! :)  

See, isn't this addictive behavior?  Maybe I should start attending Addictive Recovery Classes!

Thankfully, ice cream isn't as harmful as alcohol or drugs, but I escape to it probably just the same and it is leaving it's mark on my body.

It's been 3 months since my depression set in, and today I took a good look in the mirror.  I literally did...
I went to Kohl's and tried on a few items.  I had no idea my body looks the way it does!  There's something about those changing room lights!
I can tell you right where the ice cream is sitting!! 

I've got to get my life back! 

I did exercise yesterday and today (does learning Hannah Montana's Hoedown Throwdown Dance count??) and I'll admit they were my more productive days. (Productive to a LOW standard...I never got out of my pj's)

Insanity is a 60 day workout which includes a nutrition plan.  That's just what I need.  I'm pretty sure B&J won't be showing up on the menu!  And it takes the work out of Meal ideas!  
The "normal ME" likes a good workout and can handle a challenge so this might kick my butt, but I'm really hoping that it kicks my butt in gear!

Maybe this will be enough to self-medicate the depression.??
I know it's crazy to do something as extreme as Insanity.  I hear it's HARD.  I'm actually excited to DO something for once!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Fingers and toes make me look bad

Why is it hard for me to remember to clip my children’s fingernails and toenails?
They stay hidden until piano lessons, where they are grossly displayed week after week- on all 3 kids!.
“Ugh!” I cringe inside.  How do I miss that at home?!

After weeks of embarrassment I vow to arrive to piano with all 30 fingers neatly cut and CLEAN!
I don’t remember about this vow until we’re in the car to the next weeks piano lesson and I pass out baby wipes with instructions to dig under the nail!

The rest of the drive I am trying to visualize myself cutting their nails in hope that it will get me closer to action.
The problem is I can’t find those darn clippers!  They are never around when I need them!  Or when I do have them the kids aren’t around!

I do remember holding a pair (like a new found treasure) and making a deliberate effort to place them where I could return to them at a later time.  Problem is...I can’t remember where that deliberate place is!?!

Should be obvious right?  In a drawer?  On the piano?  Nope!

None of my kids like their toes to be touched.  They retract their feet every time I go for their nails.  I don’t get it.
Toenails are gross, fingernails are too. 
They make me look like a bad mother.
They scream: “My Mom lets me do whatever I want!  I don’t even need to take a bath!”
You know the school teachers aren’t seeing the grime under their nails and blaming it on the kids!  It’s that crazy mother that doesn’t keep up on  hygiene!

I don’t even want to go to the dirt patches behind the ears!

Looking forward to the long days at the pool where the chlorine will do the dirty work for me! haha!