The unknown

I woke up feeling like my arms were made of steel. Not because they are in shape and fine tuned either.

I can only sleep on my left side, so by morning I feel a bit numb all over.

I’m happy to report this is the extent of my sleeping problems during pregnancy.
Sleeping is NOT a problem. Getting out of bed and feeling my arms and legs is.

In getting ready for church this morning I admired my “roundness” in the mirror. I am a lot bigger than I thought. Wearing pj’s day in and out has really contributed to image denial.
I gave up on nylons- they manage to make me feel like I want to kill something by the time they are on straight- no matter how skinny I am.

So today I wore knee highs.

“I have the legs of a Grandma.” I thought as I posed for the mirror.

“Sam, how do I look?” I dare ask.

I’m sure he replied with something nice but all I remember was his reference to my Granny legs.

I was right, I looked like a Granny.

My ankles have transformed into cankles.

Pregnancy really takes over my body. I gain a lot of weight. More than the expected 30lbs.
I’m ok with that.
I watch with wonder as my image takes on a new shape. It’s amazing how big a belly can get.

In a way I don’t feel like my body is mine anymore. It belongs to the baby for now.

I am just as surprised with the changes as anyone.

I’m happy I feel good. I happy we are healthy. I’m happy to be a Granny for a few more months.

I know my body will return. If I hadn’t done this 3 times before I’d be a little concerned, but it always bounces back.

Pregnancy is an honor.

Carrying this child without knowing the gender has forced me to pay more attention to feelings. I know nothing about this unborn child except that it is from God.

But I have special feelings and a bond toward this baby that is so sweet. I can feel I am carrying a “person”,
a Child of God. A Spirit that needs me right now.

Not knowing the gender has kept me from daydreaming of the future boy or girl. I’m not falsely creating personality or assumptions of how it will fit into our family.

This baby’s Spirit is felt and is very real.

I look forward to the day more is revealed but I already feel I know my baby.