I was so wrong!

Recently, I enjoyed the Holiday Season with my Mother. During her stay at my home she and I had moments where I could reflect on childhood memories and experiences with her.

Due to the “Spirit of Giving” felt in the air, I shared with her my favorite childhood memory.

In 4th Grade I chose to do the 12 Days of Christmas to a less liked, and poor, girl in my school class.
I have reflected on this experience many times in my life.

I sat next to this girl at school and each morning she would playback every detail of her receiving experience to ME, the giver.
She was determined to catch ME. She had plans each day on how she was going to do it. I even helped her come up with a few ideas!

Each night was a success for me. The following morning she would be so frustrated that her plan didn’t work! How do they get away with it! She was sure she was going to out smart them at least ONE night!

For several of the 12 days this game went on. She continued to spill the beans to me.
Having this interaction with her made the entire experience for me. I felt an unlikely friendship flourish between us.

I remember planning the gift one night. I was at our local Ben Franklyn’s hardware store with only a few dollars. I searched the store for the perfect gift.
I had so many great idea’s but the problem was my limited resources. I sat on the floor near the cashiers stand counting my bag of coins, frustrated that my desires were constrained. I thought: “If I were rich, I could do the best 12 days of Christmas!” At that moment I decided if I grew up and had a lot of money I would have so much fun giving it to the needy.

I don’t remember many of the gifts I gave her, but I do remember one. It was the last day- Day 1. It was the best day of the entire event!

Sometime Previous (Maybe a month) Mom had bought me the most beautiful White dress complete with ruffles and lace! When I looked at that dress for the first time I remember thinking I had died and gone to Heaven. My next thought was I wish church was tomorrow.
Unfortunately, Sunday was 4 days away and even worse...the dress didn’t fit! It was too small. Oh, how I tried to pretend it fit.

Because Mom had purchased the dress up North she couldn’t return it so I was left to Donate it. I was heart broken.I still remember
that feeling of disappointment. The dress hung in my closet for some time; always stinging my heart when I saw it.

As the 12 days were ending Mom suggested I give the dress for a gift.
That idea filled my soul with love. I knew that was the perfect gift to give her on Christmas Eve.

I wrapped the gift and carried it to the car like it was Cinderella’s glass slipper.
I knew this girl wouldn’t otherwise own a dress like this. I couldn’t wait to hear about it at school. (but I had to wait till after the school break!)

That year I experienced the “Spirit of Giving.” and it stuck with me.
I learned a valuable lesson as an 8 year old. Serving others fixes the holes in my heart. I like WHO I am when I am giving.

Up through graduation I had a special unspoken connection with this girl. She didn’t change much in 10 years. Socially we never crossed paths again. Our senior year she was still a homely, quiet, shy girl. But I felt I loved her and I think she felt it too.

I have reflected on this childhood experience often. Now, as a young Mother, I am still being taught by it.

Today 20+ years later I recognize a familiar desire. Unlimited $$$ so I could give to others. I have often thought:

“I would love to surprise her with a desperately needed vacation.”
“I wish I could just buy a car for them.”
“I wish I could afford to fly home to see ____”
“I wish I could pay for her to have this.”
“I wish I had money to go to India!”

My list can go on! (and it does)
My desires are pure but today-I repeat TODAY I realized I am so wrong.

After attending a RS Lesson on Sacrifice, and preparing to give next weeks lesson on Consecration, I saw the flaw in my desires.

Mother Teresa says, “A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves.”

Elder Bruce R. McConkie states:
“When it costs us but little to give, the treasure laid up in heaven is a small one.

Sam concluded, The perfect gift gives both the giver and receiver.

I’m going to stop putting off service because I don’t have the time.
I’m going to stop wishing I had more money to give.

The truth is, God has given me what I have and he’s waiting to see what I’ll do with it!

Photo: The Widows mite
The widows mite, given in sacrifice, weighs more heavily in the eternal scales than the bulging granaries of the rich man.”