I woke up feeling like my arms were made of steel. Not because they are in shape and fine tuned either.
I can only sleep on my left side, so by morning I feel a bit numb all over.
I’m happy to report this is the extent of my sleeping problems during pregnancy.
Sleeping is NOT a problem. Getting out of bed and feeling my arms and legs is.
In getting ready for church this morning I admired my “roundness” in the mirror. I am a lot bigger than I thought. Wearing pj’s day in and out has really contributed to image denial.
I gave up on nylons- they manage to make me feel like I want to kill something by the time they are on straight- no matter how skinny I am.
So today I wore knee highs.
“I have the legs of a Grandma.” I thought as I posed for the mirror.
“Sam, how do I look?” I dare ask.
I’m sure he replied with something nice but all I remember was his reference to my Granny legs.
I was right, I looked like a Granny.
My ankles have transformed into cankles.
Pregnancy really takes over my body. I gain a lot of weight. More than the expected 30lbs.
I’m ok with that.
I watch with wonder as my image takes on a new shape. It’s amazing how big a belly can get.
In a way I don’t feel like my body is mine anymore. It belongs to the baby for now.
I am just as surprised with the changes as anyone.
I’m happy I feel good. I happy we are healthy. I’m happy to be a Granny for a few more months.
I know my body will return. If I hadn’t done this 3 times before I’d be a little concerned, but it always bounces back.
Pregnancy is an honor.
Carrying this child without knowing the gender has forced me to pay more attention to feelings. I know nothing about this unborn child except that it is from God.
But I have special feelings and a bond toward this baby that is so sweet. I can feel I am carrying a “person”,
a Child of God. A Spirit that needs me right now.
Not knowing the gender has kept me from daydreaming of the future boy or girl. I’m not falsely creating personality or assumptions of how it will fit into our family.
This baby’s Spirit is felt and is very real.
I look forward to the day more is revealed but I already feel I know my baby.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
My kind of Day
January 31, 2010 5:18 PM
Yesterday was my kind of day!! A day with nothing planned and all day to get my house clean. It was a day I didn’t even look in the mirror or change from my pajamas.
A day I didn’t worry about meals because Sam takes over in the kitchen.
A day the kids clean their room, bathroom, livingroom, dust, take out the garbage and vacuum.
I get to the junk drawers, laundry, bills, organizing the attic and other time consuming things I don’t start during the week because I know I will be interrupted by other activities or schedules.
At the end of the day I sat by the fire happy to be a bit more organized in a clean house and completely stuffed from a delicious Mexican dinner I didn’t fix!
I love that my kids can clean a room as well as I can and my husband cooks better than me!
I love that THEY made my kind of day!
Yesterday was my kind of day!! A day with nothing planned and all day to get my house clean. It was a day I didn’t even look in the mirror or change from my pajamas.
A day I didn’t worry about meals because Sam takes over in the kitchen.
A day the kids clean their room, bathroom, livingroom, dust, take out the garbage and vacuum.
I get to the junk drawers, laundry, bills, organizing the attic and other time consuming things I don’t start during the week because I know I will be interrupted by other activities or schedules.
At the end of the day I sat by the fire happy to be a bit more organized in a clean house and completely stuffed from a delicious Mexican dinner I didn’t fix!
I love that my kids can clean a room as well as I can and my husband cooks better than me!
I love that THEY made my kind of day!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Photo of the Week
We were HAPPY to get a fresh dump of snow yesterday morning.
I don't mind the snow as long as the blue sky shows up every once in awhile. I am pleased with winter this time around.
I don't mind the snow as long as the blue sky shows up every once in awhile. I am pleased with winter this time around.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Den Leader
January 26, 2010 8:31 PM
Tuesday’s we have Scouts. I am the Den Leader for the 8 year old Wolves, and have been for the past year. I don’t really mind being the Den leader.
Because I am the Den leader I don’t have a Sunday calling, which means I show up and enjoy the full 3 hours of Enlightenment.
I think that’s the best part of being a Den Leader.
It’s easy enough that I almost forget EVERY week that we have to go.
Sometime on Monday the light goes on and I remember I need to plan Scouts.
Tuesday after school we eat a snack, I try to prepare dinner (or get it mostly prepared) and gather up the kids and go.
For an hour I get to instruct 8 boys on how to serve God, their Country and Community. (watch them run like maniacs in the gym. They are like magnets to a ball. No one can pay attention if a ball is in the room. very strange)
I realized today that Tuesdays are my lazy days. I never have my hair done on Tuesday. So, week after week my Den AND their parents see me on a grunge day....how lovely.
Go Akela.
Tuesday’s we have Scouts. I am the Den Leader for the 8 year old Wolves, and have been for the past year. I don’t really mind being the Den leader.
Because I am the Den leader I don’t have a Sunday calling, which means I show up and enjoy the full 3 hours of Enlightenment.
I think that’s the best part of being a Den Leader.
It’s easy enough that I almost forget EVERY week that we have to go.
Sometime on Monday the light goes on and I remember I need to plan Scouts.
Tuesday after school we eat a snack, I try to prepare dinner (or get it mostly prepared) and gather up the kids and go.
For an hour I get to instruct 8 boys on how to serve God, their Country and Community. (watch them run like maniacs in the gym. They are like magnets to a ball. No one can pay attention if a ball is in the room. very strange)
I realized today that Tuesdays are my lazy days. I never have my hair done on Tuesday. So, week after week my Den AND their parents see me on a grunge day....how lovely.
Go Akela.
Monday, January 25, 2010
bedtime
Lately I have been tired enough to choose sleeping on the COUCH rather than my BED!
I’ll admit I have even shared a few Moons with the recliner too.
I feel a little separation between me and the bed.
I don’t know that I can place my finger on the issue but there are feelings that need to surface.
Something just isn’t right.
I don’t like BEDTIME.
Last night I slept the entire night with my head at the foot of the bed.
It’s as if I am trying to trick myself mentally that I am NOT really “in” bed.
I have always had issues with bed time. I have a hard time shutting down. When I lived at home it really irritated me when my mom would turn off all the lights at 10pm and go to bed. aka: Put the house to bed.
I don’t like the whole routine of it all.
Ideally, I like to fall asleep when and where I am -when I feel sleepy.
“Falling Asleep“ means stay where you are when you dose off. It doesn’t require checking all the locks on the doors, turing off lights, changing into pajamas, or setting the alarm. All that mumbo jumbo wakes you right back up!
I love falling asleep next to Sam on the couch, or with a book in hand. Nothing scheduled about it.
For several years Sam would try to wake me and have me move into the bedroom if I fell asleep. Now he knows better.
”If I am asleep on the bathroom floor-LEAVE me there!“ I would tell him.
It seems as if he has taken to my sleeping theory lately.
I find after long chats on the couch we both doze off and I wake up to lights on and Sam right next to me, or I find him under the reading light with book in hand at wee hours of the morning snoozing away.
That is peaceful sleep to me. That means total relaxation.
Brushing, changing, locking doors, checking on kids, saying prayers, setting the alarm and even QT with the hubby can be done BEFORE bedtime.
Bedtime is when you ARE asleep!
Too add to my quirkiness I also sleep better if I don’t know what time it is. I’ll avoid looking at the clock if I can. I feel better in the morning if I don’t know the hours I did or didn’t get.
My body tells me if I need more or less. Sam thinks my sleep meter is broken. I could easily use 12 hours a night. (and a nap would be nice)
So, there is my bedtime drama.
Am I normal?
January 25, 2010 7:53 PM
I’ll admit I have even shared a few Moons with the recliner too.
I feel a little separation between me and the bed.
I don’t know that I can place my finger on the issue but there are feelings that need to surface.
Something just isn’t right.
I don’t like BEDTIME.
Last night I slept the entire night with my head at the foot of the bed.
It’s as if I am trying to trick myself mentally that I am NOT really “in” bed.
I have always had issues with bed time. I have a hard time shutting down. When I lived at home it really irritated me when my mom would turn off all the lights at 10pm and go to bed. aka: Put the house to bed.
I don’t like the whole routine of it all.
Ideally, I like to fall asleep when and where I am -when I feel sleepy.
“Falling Asleep“ means stay where you are when you dose off. It doesn’t require checking all the locks on the doors, turing off lights, changing into pajamas, or setting the alarm. All that mumbo jumbo wakes you right back up!
I love falling asleep next to Sam on the couch, or with a book in hand. Nothing scheduled about it.
For several years Sam would try to wake me and have me move into the bedroom if I fell asleep. Now he knows better.
”If I am asleep on the bathroom floor-LEAVE me there!“ I would tell him.
It seems as if he has taken to my sleeping theory lately.
I find after long chats on the couch we both doze off and I wake up to lights on and Sam right next to me, or I find him under the reading light with book in hand at wee hours of the morning snoozing away.
That is peaceful sleep to me. That means total relaxation.
Brushing, changing, locking doors, checking on kids, saying prayers, setting the alarm and even QT with the hubby can be done BEFORE bedtime.
Bedtime is when you ARE asleep!
Too add to my quirkiness I also sleep better if I don’t know what time it is. I’ll avoid looking at the clock if I can. I feel better in the morning if I don’t know the hours I did or didn’t get.
My body tells me if I need more or less. Sam thinks my sleep meter is broken. I could easily use 12 hours a night. (and a nap would be nice)
So, there is my bedtime drama.
Am I normal?
January 25, 2010 7:53 PM
A Good day
January 25, 2010 6:24 PM
Getting out of bed is a whole lot easier when you know your kitchen is clean.
Monday feels good when all you have on the agenda is visiting teaching.
Swimming with goggles that fit make exercise a whole new experience.
Rain all day calls for oversized football sweats and slippers.
Dinner when Dad is out of town is Cream of Wheat.
Heartburn with Tums is what I had for dessert.
Bedtime an hour early with no one noticing is a sneaky move!!
The rest of the evening all to myself....HEAVENLY!
Going to bed in a clean house and a breakfast date with a friend makes tomorrow already wonderful!!
Getting out of bed is a whole lot easier when you know your kitchen is clean.
Monday feels good when all you have on the agenda is visiting teaching.
Swimming with goggles that fit make exercise a whole new experience.
Rain all day calls for oversized football sweats and slippers.
Dinner when Dad is out of town is Cream of Wheat.
Heartburn with Tums is what I had for dessert.
Bedtime an hour early with no one noticing is a sneaky move!!
The rest of the evening all to myself....HEAVENLY!
Going to bed in a clean house and a breakfast date with a friend makes tomorrow already wonderful!!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
photo of the week
This is my late posting of my photo for the week.
Blue sky and a church in NYC. If you look closely the picture isn't so tranquil!
Blue sky and a church in NYC. If you look closely the picture isn't so tranquil!
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