Mommy Magic Tricks!

Marry Poppins holds the Title of "Mommy Magic" but if your having a hard time locating one of those handbags that seem to consist of EVERYTHING perhaps you should try your hand at "Mommy Magic."
I had a friend email me today and ask if one of my "tricks" really worked with the kids.
She was referring to a post I wrote titled, I Quit! That post was a long time ago and I'm happy to announce my "trick" still works!
Then I realized I have a few "Tricks" I'd like to report on.


#1. I Quit!
Each child still is accountable for their colored dish. .
After my kids eat they take their dish to the sink. (Even my 3 year old clears his spot)
I even went as far to clean out my dish cupboard and removed extra (adult size) bowls and cups. I have enough to get us through a day. If I forget to run the dishwasher I'm up a creek! I LOVE only having what I use and using what I have!
At the end of the day I find a stash of cups (yellow, blue, and pink) lined up next to the fridge where they access water. That's where they go to get their ONE cup.

#2 NO Visitors!
I still haven't had a moments peace in the bathroom. Seriously! I have to laugh EVERY TIME otherwise I'd cry.
I've noticed a few of my friends kids have this same "special" power when they are at my house. What is it??
Do kids think we're going to climb out the window??

#3 Not A Peep!
This one is a KEEPER! Bedtime is WONDERFUL!!! Jarom is now keeping track of how many days straight he has stayed in bed. He is on 37 today!!! He was the one coming out several times a night to go to the bathroom!

Jennica was HARD to get to bed. one of her many issues was "playing" with the door open. Now she still wants the door open but I tell her,
"Open door means no Fish, you decide." ... The door stays closed. She'll test us on day 6, after her 5 day reward, and after her 10th day reward. It just takes her longer to get those rewards.
Bedtime is seriously SMOOTH!

#4 Pebble of Love
I am happy to report Jarom is a different child! This has made the biggest difference in him. He makes sure to floss, mouthwash, and brush every night and morning because he'll get 6 pebbles!!
(And I give him an extra 2 to wipe up his mess)

He wakes up happy, hangs up his coat and backpack after school, makes his bed and cleans his room! Why? Because he likes getting pebbles!!

I let him choose his own rewards this week. This is what he came up with:
50 pebbles=fudgecicle
100 pebbles=mom does chores + scoop of peanut butter
150 pebbles= playdate
200 pebbles= stay up 30min. past bedtime
Last week he earned 210 pebbles. If Jarom's pebbles and Jennica's pebbles = 300 or more, we all go swimming on Sat.

Jennica(age 5) isn't as obssesed with the pebbles. She needs instant gratification. Last week she earned maybe 100 pebbles. This week she figured out she'll get to go to a friends house on the bus if she earned pebbles. She kicked in gear and has more than Jarom, as of today.
Oh, the beauty of a pebble!

#5 Lost Bunny!
This may be a D+ Mom Update. Bunny was found in the clothes hamper the following Saturday, by Me.
She still doesn't know. I am going to put it in her "keepsakes" box.
She continues to talk about "Bunny" but less frequently as the days pass.

#6 The Confession
So, here it is the end of Feb. My "Just Because" gift hasn't arrived.... Meaning I haven't came up with one yet!
I have 2 days to go! AHHHH!!!!! This is proven harder than I expected!

Well, that sums up enough. I should get off the computer and start searching my Noggin for a gift! (Although, I am fighting like mad, against the temptation to go in the kitchen and find something "fun" to eat!)

If you have any Mommy Magic Tricks you'd like to share, or would like to give your thoughts about mine please do!
Let me know you were here. Leave a comment!

B+ Mom...again

(This post is a spin-off a previous post titled B+ Mom in A+ community, read it here)

A few weeks ago I received a phone call from the Elementary school. The phone call mothers don’t like to get.

It’s the phone call informing you your child has been up to no good.

It went something like this:

Teacher: “Mrs. Hobi, this is Jarom’s teacher. We’ve had a few problems with Jarom this morning at school I want to let you know about.“

Me: ”Yes?“ Wondering what happened TO him.

Teacher: ”At morning recess he was heard using swear words to another boy.“

Me: ”JAROM was?“ (completely shocked, as any mother would be)

Teacher: ”Yes, he said Shit.“

Me: ”JAROM????“ (Positive they had the wrong boy.)

Teacher: he did admit he said it and was pretty emotional about it. I don’t know if there are other things going on at home that.....

I’m not really listening, my mind is searching for an answer. Nothing about this seemed right. He admitted he said it?!?!

I’m replaying the past week in my mind. He stayed at home sick. He was in bed for almost 3 days straight reading. (The kicker is he was reading the Children’s Bible and illustrated Book of Mormon. ) He isn’t the typical 7 year old. We are so blessed to have him.

My thoughts searched for an answer where he could have picked up this word. We don’t have a TV in the house, we strictly control the content of Media he is exposed to, and most importantly neither my husband or myself have EVER used this word. (well.....maybe pre-marriage on a really bad day)

Me: “I am very surprised to hear this. I have never heard him use swear words.”

Teacher: “Well, he had another issue this afternoon. While eating lunch he was waving his middle finger.”

Me: “You are kidding me!”

Now I’m envisioning him standing on the benches giving all the teachers a piece of his mind. Again- totally out of character.

She made it clear he was reprimanded for his behavior and mentioned he was crying and said he told her he didn’t know it was bad.

I jumped in and confirmed that he DIDN’T know what it meant!! Why would he? He’s only seven!!!

After hanging up the phone I was furious inside. Not at my son, but at the teachers. They all assumed he was guilty. I was sorry my good kid got disciplined so harshly because I knew he wouldn’t do these things.

When he got home from school I sat down with him and asked him to tell me about what happened.

He started to cry and said he got in big trouble for saying something. I asked him to tell me what he said.

Apparently he learned his lesson because he didn’t want to tell me the word he used.

I reassured him he wouldn’t get in trouble, but I needed to hear the word he said.
Reluctantly he said the word he used was, “Shut up!”

“Shut up?” I repeated almost laughing. “That’s not the word your teacher said you used.”

“It’s not?“ he questioned back. ”What word did she say I used?“

”It doesn’t matter what she said, I’ll believe what you tell me.“ I answered

Then he told me what actually took place.

”Mom you know when you get really upset and you say something really fast after you think it and then you wish you didn’t say it?
Well, Joe (name was changed) was teasing me at recess. He said I liked girls and pushed me. He kept saying that and pushing me and it made me really mad.
The last time he said it I yelled: “Shut Up!”
Then I covered my mouth and said "oops." Because I knew I shouldn’t have said that to him.
He ran away and told the teacher and she got really mad at me and told me I was in trouble.“

I asked him if his teacher told him what word it was he shouldn’t say. He said, “No, she just asked me if I said the ”S“ word.”

At this time I wanted to hug him to death. My sweet boy was totally misunderstood.
In our home ”Shut Up“ is a swear word. This boy, Joe, is a boy I know and I know his parents. I have heard foul language used by his mother, so what I think happened was Joe saw Jarom cover his mouth and say opps and Joe’s version of a swear word, which was told to the teacher, came forward. Not ”Jarom’s" swear word.

Did the teacher ever ask Jarom what word he used?
No.
She went with the story and Jarom came home believing “Shut Up” can really get you in trouble! (Not a bad lesson)

I left it at that. This is where my B+ grade comes in.

I decided not to educated my seven year old on foul language, even though it is evident teachers think these little ones have them in their vocabulary.
I will continue to “manage” my children and protect them from the Media and Pop Culture because I can and I think they will turn out the better someday.

The story of the middle finger is legit. He does it at home, it’s a pointer finger. Harmless.

Imagine his terror:

Mom, I don’t even know what I did wrong. I was eating my lunch and had my hands on my lap and was moving my arms (side note: Jarom is a flapper. When he gets excited he pumps his arms up and down his side or he flaps like a bird. Quite funny, he seems oblivious that he is doing it. He has done this since he was a toddler) then the boy next to me went and told the lunch lady I was doing something wrong!“
.... Is pointing with my middle finger bad? he asked inquizzitivly.
She said it was bad!
She got close to my face and yelled really loud that I was not to EVER do that!
It scared me Mom, she was really mean.

Poor kid, he learned a lot that day. Doesn’t it stink when good kids get mistreated?

Shame on me for not exposing them to the “finger” and the “S” word by age seven! What kind of mother am I?? I can see our next Family Home Evening lesson going something like this:

Today we are going to teach you words and gestures you should NEVER use...

I guess all the A+ moms have already taught these lessons, that’s why his classmates had one up on him.

Ahh, School of Hard Knocks. Welcome to Life!

I Tri

A few years ago I started a process of waking up. A waking up from a sleep I wasn’t aware I was in.
It happened one evening while browsing through a Women’s Health Magazine.

I read an article of a Woman in her 40’s that decided to run a triathlon. It sparked a few feelings of envy and a lot of feelings resentment toward myself.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had exercised, nor could I remember the last time I did anything for MYSELF.
I was a 27 year old mother of 3, living on the East Coast with a husband working full time and getting his Executive MBA from Columbia. I was alone with the kids ALL the time. To put it mildly, my body was being neglected.

I didn’t quite know what running a Triathlon would entail before I read this article. That evening I was on the computer Googling “Triathlons in Connecticut”

I was amazed at the varity of races in my Tri-state area! I had no idea this stuff existed. To my dismay I found most the Triathlons were held on Sunday.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I agreed we would observe the Sabbath Day and keep it Holy. To me, this meant making it a day of rest.
Sundays were out for me, which left ONE race being held on Saturday, June 4th, in New York. I had found my race!

I had 6 months to train. I was petrified and excited all at once. I didn’t know anyone who ran Triathlons. I had no idea what I should be doing.

First step was sign up for a gym membership at the local YMCA.
Next step, schedule a time to do my workouts with a husband that leaves the house at 5:30am and doesn’t return till 9pm....I had a problem.

After haggling for time we came to an agreement that my Man would come home and relieve me of my motherly duties at 7pm so I could go to the gym.

Training for this Triathlon was the beginning of my waking process. I had no idea I was so out of shape mentally, physically and spiritually!

Over the next six months I prepared myself for a race that changed me in many ways.

Crazy Hair

 This morning the kids announced it was crazy hair day. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I could take a day off doing Jennica’s hair, she’ll fit right in even if I don’t touch it. As for Jarom, he looks great with his hair spiky but if it’s a poof this morning, he too, will fit in.

I was surprised to find Jarom grooming himself as I walk past the bathroom. My 1st grader is taking Spirit Day with Pride. He emerged with each spike in it’s proper place.... nothing crazy.

Jennica sits at the breakfast table listening intently as Daddy reads the scriptures, so I thought. She interupts him in mid-sentance.
“Daddy, I think I want my hair to stick straight up like this.” She is stringing her hair out as far as her arms will reach. Oblivious that Daddy, or any of us at the table are NOT deep into HER thoughts like she is.

For once, Jennica lets me brush her hair and pull and twist without a whimper. She is excited about Crazy Hair Day. She pulls out the Hair paint from Halloween and tells me to paint away.
In goes pig-tails and lots of hair ties. Then I spray her red, and blue. Her Girls Just Wanna Have Fun shirt adds the perfect touch.

After quite a bit of prodding I talk Jarom into a little hair paint. He reminded me of those popcicles from the Ice Cream truck called Fire crackers. He was Red and Blue striped.

Quickly they threw on their coats and ran to the bus stop. After closing the door behind them I had a good laugh. This was a fun morning.

Then, panic set in! What if it really wasn’t Crazy Hair Day? I never saw the announcement. I didn’t hear a word about it. I just went with it this morning.

It would completly devistate them if they showed up and it wasn’t Crazy Hair Day. I had flashbacks of my mistake in the 3rd Grade. I showed up to school wearing my brother’s baseball uniform, complete with cleats, pants, hat and black streaks under my eyes. In those days I rode my bike to school and I got there with plenty of time to play before the bell rang. So I didn’t notice at first that I was the ONLY one dressed in costume.
Soon enough it became evidant that I had made a mistake. I sat in the girls bathroom trying to downplay this costume but found no way around it. I wanted to disappear.

If I could prevent my children from this type of embarrasment I would. I made a phone call to my neighbor and asked if her son had Crazy Hair. She put me at ease, it was indeed, Crazy Hair Day.

Whew....

Thursday Funk

I am in a funk. A Thursday funk! I feel like I am moving in slow motion. It took me all day to get productive.
I made Krista’s Chicken Noodle soup this afternoon. Nothing like warm soup on a snowy day.

Yesterday I went to the Manhattan Temple. If I attend the 11am session I can make it back home before the kids get off the bus.
I have made it a personal goal to attend the Temple at least once a month. So far I am 5 for 5!

What difference have I seen in my life? I have noticed that I feel “JOY” in doing the things that I dreaded before. Such as making meals each night, having a clean house, or even being patient with my kids.
I feel the Lord is giving me the desire and endurance to fulfill my duties as a mother. I need that. I get a sense of fulfillment.

Jace has been a little bugger at nights. He wakes up around 1am and is up till 4am yelling for me. If I bring him into bed with me he wiggles and asks for a drink over and over. I fell asleep last night around 9:30pm, thrilled that I would get decent sleep. Thanks to Jace I was up most of the night listening to him yell. Is that why I am grumpy today?

Is it Spring yet? I love the bright sun but why does it have to follow up with snow?

I went for a walk this morning but failed to see any beauty in the dead trees and frozen ponds. For once I walked around with my camera and nothing to take pictures of. Well, I did take 3 pictures:
They do look a lot prettier covered in snow.

Locker-room Work out!

My Man walked through the door 2 hours late with a handful of groceries announcing
He is going to cook ME dinner. (took the sting right out)

I suppose my body language told him a lot. He sent me away for “Teak Time.”
“Teak Time” is equalivant to a “Time Out.” (My nickname my dad gave me growing up was Teak)

I need"Teak time" to stay alive.

I tend to favor the anti-social personality when I am like this, so going out wasn’t what I wanted to do.

It was 6pm when I gave the kids a kiss and said goodnight. Then I locked myself in my room.
Normally locking myself in my room isn’t an escape from my little ones. I’m usually chased down within seconds and the banging on the door beings. Thus, my kisses goodnight and announcing Mommy is leaving allowed my retreat to be successful. (Dad can explain why the bedroom door is locked.)

Nothing does it like a HOT shower. I mean HOT. I like it so hot I have to sit down when I get out before I blackout.

After the shower the first thing I put on is...headphones. (I don’t want to hear the responsibility I am avoiding)
Feng Shui does just the right thing for me.

Now, what does one put on after the end of such a day? A few years back I found just the thing.

“You look good, you feel good“

This brings me to my ”Journey to Em Moment“

I’m sure it’s Universal knowledge that underwear talks. I can’t seem to wear the ones that speak my language though. I have a drawer full of “back talking” panties.
My husband reassured me they are speaking the right language. I just wasn’t hearing it.

Growing up I have always been self concious about my body. I played sports throughout high school and spent a fair amount of time dressing in locker rooms. I did the typical get my shirt off and on simutaniously. Looking back now, I realise I should have been strutting my stuff!

Last year I was bold and decided this needed to change. I did the unthinkable and faced my insecurity sqaure in the face....butt NAKED!!!

It a desperate attempt to find “myself” I went to the Gym every night for 2 hours to train for my first Triathlon. The workouts worked wonders on my sanity but the hardest part was in the locker room.

I made a goal to do the opposite of my comfort. That ment I chose the locker closest to the door (right out in the open) to dressed and undressed there! That is AFTER I showered (not in the private stalls) and sat in the sana without my clothes on!! Butt Naked!!!!

My husband, of all people, has told me over and over that I need to get comfortable in my own skin.
Well, this just about did the trick. It took several months of doing this before I stopped jumping every time the doors opened.

The saggy grandma’s made it look easy. I decided I looked HOT after one evening with a few Senior Citizens strutting their stuff.

After the showers I would dress in "fun" underwear, because they made me feel like a WOMAN and my “normal” underwear is....well,...“modest.“
Let me make it clear that the underwear was for ME not my husband. I needed to find the confident ”woman“ in myself. Sometimes he saw it sometimes he didn’t.

Then I would spend time pampering myself, in just my underwear, (because the thought of that made me squerm) till I left the gym at 10pm.

I have to admit I walked away from the gym feeling like I wanted to feel.
I learned quite a bit about myself by stepping outside the box.

Dinner for 2 is waiting...

The Confession

I am gift challenged! I can’t believe I am admitting this. I prided myself as being thoughtful and creative before I got married.

I loved the thought of being married and getting the chance to shower my husband with love and surprises.
Well, it’s been 10 years and I have failed miserably. I will repeat FAILED!

I have had a few gifts that were a hit. Like the DVD player for Christmas, (10 years ago when they were a Hot Item)
The automatic car starter, 5 years ago, that he still uses to this day. (Doesn’t climbing into a warm car make all the difference?)

And his 30th birthday. I sent him on a Scavenger Hunt to various places in Manhattan to pick up gifts and find the Hotel where he would find... ME! That evening we dined at Per Se (AMAZING food and experience. 5 hour meal!)
and had his sister Jessica ,and her husband Pete, fly from California to show up at our table. Total Surprise.

Perhaps I have potential, but lets call it how it is. I am Gift Challenged. Let me delve last year’s gift giving experience.

Mothers Day he bought me a Road Bike I loved so much, to train for my Triathlons.

Sam goes to California on business and comes home with oodles of styling workout clothes for ME!
I go away to Utah alone and come back with....nothing for him.


My 30th birthday......he gave me a new Mac OS laptop!!! (It’s my boyfriend Mac) and a trip away, ALONE!
Sam’s birthday....I can’t remember. (Must have been a keeper!)

10th Anniversary...I talk him into staying at home with me on the couch. (Have I mentioned I am Anti-Social?)

Christmas....I show up like a champ and don’t get him anything!! Am I retarded? What kind of spoiled brat am I?
I have a million excuses I could give but the truth is I need a big kick in the pants.

I am a self-centered, unappreciative, spoiled wife!

Okay, now that I have come to grips with my “condition” it’s time to act.

I decided to, once again, step “outside of the box” and do something that is against my comfort. (You’ll see more of these moments in the near future)

I am going to give Sam “Just Because” gifts each month. Gifts that will mean something to him- not just to check off the box.
I have to make a comeback in a big way.

I married the man of my Dreams, and then I stopped trying. I am so lucky to have him. It’s time I show up!

Did I mention he spoiled me on Valentines Day? Fun workout gear (I love that stuff) and BEAUTIFUL diamond earrings and necklace!
What did I give him?........
I’ll leave that up to your imagination. ☺

“Just Because” gift for this month......?????????????? Hummmm.....????
No ideas. none. nothing.