Pebble of love

My 7 year old son is a good kid. He can be so pleasant to his younger siblings, and then other times he is a Monster! Unfortunately, I have seen more of the monster lately.

He is fully capable of completing his chores alone but he makes everything seem so hard. He seems to work harder at throwing a fit than the actual assignment requires.

Sam and I have had several talks about what we can do to help him with his attitude.
We’ve learned from Church Leaders and books that the best thing to do is love it out of them. It always helps when we don’t react to his fit and instead offer a long loving hug. (And sometimes it’s REALLY hard on my part to offer that hug) But something triggers his emotions and he is a grump again.
It’s hard to see him is such an awful mood.

I have been praying for a solution to offer this little boy some happiness, and this morning I think I found it.

During my scripture study I read how God has always required His children to make covenants. God promises to bless us, and we promise to obey. He sets the terms of Gospel covenants and we either accept or reject them. Keeping covenants brings blessings in this life and exaltation in the life to come.

I thought maybe my 7 year old needs to feel “blessed” or acknowledged for his goodness. Could he feel so terrible inside because he doesn’t feel like he is a good kid?

I know I keep covenants and live by a different standard, like so many other Lattter-Day Saints, because I know the Lord will bless me. I am banking on those blessings!!

Tonight I announced to my 3 kids (ages 7,5, and 3) that I would be handing out pebbles (little colored rocks I bought at a craft store) for random acts. I didn’t put any conditions on what they could or couldn’t do, but I did say after Dad and I talked we would let them redeem their pebbles for privileges.

Can you guess who earned the most pebbles in 2 hours?
My monster melted away and I found my good kid back in my arms telling me how much he loved me and how he wanted to hug me forever.

I asked him to explain why he felt so good and his answer was very touching to me.
He said, “Mom, I feel so good inside because you let me be helpful to you.”

He transformed right in front of me.

I think I would find it difficult to keep my covenants with God if I never felt his blessings. I see His blessings everyday. I FEEL his love for me...especially when I am trying to do my part.

My son isn’t any different. He needs to be noticed. The pebbles provided him with the recognition that what he was doing was good in my eyes. The more little pebbles he got he had tangible proof that he is good.

There were several times I caught him being extra gentle with his sister and instead of giving him a pebble I gave him a hug and asked him how his actions made him feel. He would give a sigh of satisfaction and tell me he felt good inside. Not once did he ask for a pebble.

In his prayers tonight he gave thanks for being able to be so helpful and earn pebbles.

I am amazed at the amount of goodness and love that oozed out of him.

I need to recognize more of his goodness.

Back in the Gym

Today is day two back in the gym!! I’m cutting my winter hibernation short.
Although the snow is still on the ground here, I am ready to hit the road running.

Treadmill running is the pits. I find myself reading T-Shirts of those in front of me, watching the miles go by. (Not as quickly as I’d like) Then I talk myself into stopping short of my 3 miles, only to talk myself back into completing it again. This happens over and over till I reach 3 miles and I walk away a more powerful and stronger person!

Yesterday I ran and then lifted weights. By night fall I was a Zombie! I didn’t have ANY energy. I put my 3 year old to bed at 7:30pm had dinner on the table and told the others I was going to bed. I couldn’t wait till their bed time. Am I a Grandma or what?

Today I had more energy but had the hungry head ache follow me all day. Why can’t it be easy to get into shape? It’s so easy to be lazy and get fat. Why do I get punished when I take care of myself?

Ahh....Spring is around the corner (fingers crossed) I’ll be happy I endured all the pain when I am on a beach somewhere.

Breakfast of Champions

Wheaties and a Banana. Yum!
I could eat that every meal. My 3 year old believes "Strawberry Oat-more." is the best breakfast. His request EVERY morning is Strawberry Oatmore, orange juice and bitamins (vitamins). Then he's off to conquer the day.
Today he is Dash from the Incredibles, costume and all, zooming up and down the hall watching his feet as he runs. I'm sure he believes they are a blur because he is running so fast!

Yesterday he let me give him a hair cut, on the account that I make him look like Dash. I gave it my best shot but came up short. Apparently I made him look just like JACE. He was so upset when he looked in the mirror.

"MOM!!! I don't look like Dash, you made me look just like JACE!!"
I'll take that as a compliment.


I wonder what costume I should put on today after eating my Wheaties and Banana??
I wish I could put on my biking clothes and hit the road for a nice bike ride. I guess daydreaming about my Spring bike ride in Manhattan will have to do. I have the map, bike, and clothes. If only Spring would hurry and get here!!
Does anyone want to join me?

My Kind Of Pet!

I can't keep a house plant or animal alive.
This is my kind of pet!

I forgot to post a picture to my Not A Peep! entry. These are the fish the kids earn by staying in bed.

Not a Peep!

The Hobi's have had a difficult time keeping their little ones in bed after lights out.
Apparently their little bladders can't seem to wait till morning, even though they JUST walked away from the bathroom. Or they are SOOO thirsty, with the wet mustache still on their face.
Mom is ready to "clock out" but these silly needs ruin that relaxing sigh of relief.
It was ridiculous how many trips were made to the bathroom with the detour to see what was going on in other parts of the house. And the bedtime would drag on..... and..... on!

Last week we put a STOP to it! Sam and I agreed that we would simply ignore any child that came out of their room. Jennica was the visitor this particular night. Sam and I were each on a separate couch reading. She came in the room and asked if we would close her blinds. We ignored her....she sat down next to Sam and began chatting....no answer. She got right in his face and rubbed his hair, and chin and kept talking away. He did a great job ignoring her.
I am laughing behind my book across the room.
After she realizes he is ignoring her (it took a few min.), she came to me. Her tactic changed. She didn't use all her mushy daddy stuff on me. Instead she said: "Mom, if you don't talk to me I'll never do what you ask again!"
Now Sam is laughing behind his book.
She gave up on us and began talking to herself and flopped on the floor and started playing!
Sam and I exchanged looks?? IGNORE....
An hour later she is still at our feet asking questions and NOT getting a response.
10pm rolls around and we got up and went to bed.....Jennica in tow.
I had to lock our bedroom door to get her to retreat.
Sam and I laughed behind our locked door at the endurance of our 5 year old, but this tune was getting old.

Bedtime needs to mean bedtime! We decided to reward Jarom the next morning for STAYING in his bed and not say a word to Jennica about her intrusion.
The following morning at breakfast I lauded Jarom for staying in bed and told him he could have some ice cream when he returned from school.
As expected Jennica had something to say about that! I ignored her fit and followed up with Jarom that afternoon.

Bedtime that day went a bit differently! Jarom went to bed like a champ and so did Jennica!!
We were on to something!!
The next morning I was so excited they stayed in bed without any threats made by me nor tears shed by them!
I reward them each morning with a fish to put inside our giant fish tank. Once they have 5 fish inside the tank they get an ice cream cone.
Bed time now really means bedtime!! Not a peep from them at night! ahhhh! I can kick my feet up at the end of the day!

Credit to my wise husband for reading What Shamu taught me about a happy marriage . Hats off to you my love! You worked this one!

We had to modify the rules a bit for Jace. He usually stays in bed because he sleeps on the top bunk and I take the ladder away so he doesn't climb down. If I forget to take the ladder away he ALWAYS climbs down. I wanted to teach him to obey instead of taking away the temptation. Now I leave the ladder there and he gets a fish each morning also. His Ice cream reward comes every 3 days. I found 5 days is too long for him to see the point of his good efforts. On his 4th night of Not a Peep he suddenly lost all desire to continue.
"MOM!!" he yelled about 10min after bedtime.
"I DON'T WANT A FISH!!"
Then he busted out an obnoxious song and had a hay day throwing all his pillows and blankets off his bed.
He had enough of being good! I decided my 3 year old needed instant gratification.

I Love Bedtime. And my husband for curing our problem!

Boy's should be Boys!

I just finished this book and thought I’d pass it along.
If any of you have boys in the house it’s a great one to read. It is full of great advise and words of wisdom particularly to the Dads.
A dad’s role to a child is unbelievably important. I was amazed at the many different “little” things a dad could do to make or break a child’s self-esteem.
It’s stressed over and over throughout the book that boys need less things and more of dad.

“When it comes to material things, boys don’t need more, they need less. When it comes to indulging their desire for pleasure, they don’t need more of that, they need less of it. What they need more of are parents willing to step up, spend the time with them, and show them the virtues of maturity and self-control.“

My favorite remark was, ”Give them space to be bored, to find ways to fill his time. When he does this, he will be forced to think.“

Not having a TV in our house has provided many moments of ”What should I do?“
Sam’s answer is always, Read a book or go out and play. More times than not we find them reading a book!

I can see Jarom worships Sam. He watches everything he does. He is a little Sam and has been from birth.
What he is learning, is how to grow up and be a man.
That's a BIG pill to swallow for a dad!

Read it!!

This is a funny commercial about dads, check it out: (Thanks Brooke for Sharing.)



A sequel book is Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

What would you do for a....

Why? Oh, Why? Must a Klondike Bar consist of 150 fat Calories?
Why can't a "Little" treat be a "little" fattening?

It's a rip off! If I wanted to consume 150 FAT calories I wouldn't choose a whimpy Klondike bar. I'd go for the real stuff!!
(But, I don't have the real stuff. It's grounded from my house)



That's Right! Ben & Jerry's!! Now, that's fat calories worth every bite!!