Playing again

This weekend is Conference. It’s been one of my favorites. 

A little nugget of wisdom offered stung a little.  When my litter of kids were all young, trips to the park never lacked.

Bike rides through town and story time at the library were part of routine.  My life was their life.  I loved to be outside so outside was our playground.

Catching fireflies, watering the garden and bubble baths were the best way to end a day.  

I loved that season of life!

Quickly that time passed and soon we were running around town in the car to various events.  As my kids became more self reliant I, myself, began to discover my own talents and hobbies.

As they out grew the playground apparently I did too

One by one they became school age and  my litter diminished. Soon it was just me and the youngest duck.  He happily followed me around and enjoyed the one on one. 

Today I have a 3 year old at home who follows me with a bounce in her step.  She loves playing with the older kids and gets very excited when they return from school.  My time at home now does not resemble anything to what it was before.  Instead I am cleaning or working on my passions.

Last November during a visit in Utah we drove pass a fast food restaurant with an inside play place.  

“Mom!”  She yelled from the backseat with delight.

“Inside Playground?!!?”

We didn’t see places like this back home so her observation was full of wonder also.

It was then I realized the youngest Hobi didn’t get enough “play time” out side.  I’ve never taken her to play groups like I hosted a billion times before.  I don’t pack a lunch for a nature walk with her either.  My child is a hermit, because of ME.

Now Spring is here and we are excited about being outside.  Bikes are tuned up, and basketballs are bouncing on the court.  Announcing a visit to the playground hasn’t even crossed my mind.  Instead Abi chases the older kids on their bikes like a puppy dog.  She hops around the basketball court escaping many bongs to the head.

Last week my heart stung as I passed a playground for the billionth time and she happily announced “Playground!!” Like she always does.  It’s not a whine, it’s pure delight that she has spotted a playground. (the same one every time we leave the house.)

I felt very strongly that I need to slow down and make room for her.

With this tugging at my heart, a speaker in Conference spoke of this very thing.  Turn off distractions and be there for your children.

I love being a mom.  I love little children.  I outgrew the playground prematurely.  

It’s time to stop and smell the flowers again.

My Fairytale life!

Before I married, I envisioned my married life to be similar to the traditional small town life I grew up in.  I saw buying a house, living in a friendly neighborhood (decorated with sidewalks and mailboxes), having kids, and visiting relatives during Holidays as part of the whole experience.  

Well, that scenario didn’t take place.  We took a very different path.  We never bought a house, instead we moved  to the opposite end of the Country-which most the time didn’t have side walked neighborhoods or even mailboxes on the street!

So, we adopted Grandparents and family all along the way and made due with sharing walls, stairwells, laundry machines, and elevators with strangers.

As my family began to grow older (and bigger) my heart ached for what seemed to be my fairytale scenario.

Sam's success provided wonderful opportunity for our family with each move we made. Looking back, I can see the Lords hand has been in each accomplishment.  I
 knew we were where we needed to be, but feeling like a fish out of water, I wondered how long it would be before I felt "at home"   I wasn’t in a place filled with memories of my childhood or family traditions.  
The Lord always comforts me by sending great friends and opportunities to feel valued. 

Recently, He has shown me again, He is aware of my desires.

Last year (almost to the date) a series of events took placed that gave us a gentle shove toward Utah.    

 We took the bait and here I am walking into my fairytale life near family.

 This weekend we bought our first home!!! 

Gone are the high rise apartments, small spaces, and Landlords!  

I’m in denial. 

Is this just a dream?  
It totally is!  
I’ve been dreaming of this day for 14 years.  

No good very BAD day!

No good very BAD day!! (And it's only noon)

Went back to bed after sending KidS off to school.

Missed several phone calls from my second-grader inviting me to attend "Special visitor day" at 9:15 (it was 10am)

My alarm reminds me i am   Jennica's "very special visitor" at 10:15. 

Again, its 10am. I am 20min from school and last night she requested I show up wearing jeans and a nice shirt with my hair done and make-up...really?  As if I wear my sweats all day with messy hair!  I only do that Mon-Sat!!!  I look in the mirror and see I am NOTHING close to that and I'm already late!  I do my best 

I quickly obey all driving laws (wink wink) and make it to school in record time and park in the bus zone along with 20 other people. 

I missed jennica's event but meet her in the hall along with jace and beg forgiveness.  As I'm doing this jarom walks by heading to his "special visitor" activity. (I wasn't invited -he thought it was lame-but heck, I was there so to make myself feel better i asked if i could stay.) 

While playing BINGO the loud speaker requests the driver parked in the bus zone is blocking the kindergarten busses from arriving. Move your car!  Knowing i wasn't the only one parked there I embarrassingly slip out the gym expecting to be among others.  When I get to my car it's the ONLY one there!!  Like a big elephant blocking the busses!! 

Can it get any worse?!  Holding back the "I'm a looser tears" I return to my 5th grader to finish our BINGO game....then I lost!

New kid on the block-Sunday version

Today was our 1st Sunday attending our new Ward in Utah.
These days we are having a lot of "1st times."

"1st Time" experiences can be ugly, especially when your going to be surrounded with your audience for some time.

Being the "new" family at church is tricky.
I think each Ward has their own set of unspoken rules.
Everyone knows the front row is occupied by the same family each sunday.
It's their VIP award for daring to sit there.  They don't have to place bags to save their place.  It's there waiting for them and no one takes it.

When a newbie arrives and messes things up... they are starting off on the wrong foot.

I can't tell if today was a success or a flop.
Having Abi pee all over the gym floor and my lap didn't feel like a good omen.



*I'm not positive on the date of this post.  I am posting it months after writing it and it had no date.

Stranger at Home

Sixteen years ago I left my hometown.  

I was an 18 year old girl ready for change! 

Last week I returned to find change moved in when I moved out.

 A visit to the Christiansen’s brought us to Hurricane, (the place where the majority of my life experiences and memories were created) but this wasn’t the town I remembered.

Spotted here and there I recognized buildings and houses that triggered memories but for the more part I was a stranger in my hometown.  

This visit, I viewed Hurricane through a different lens.  I understand today how little I knew then, but still yearned for that youthfulness.  

Nothing was the same.  Houses seemed smaller than I remembered them, the schools I attended were not the schools I saw and the streets my friends and I ruled were replaced by strangers.

Those friends, that life, and this town aren’t mine anymore.

I felt sad as we drove away.   

I felt as if  my memories and relationships didn’t really exist.  

I wondered if car racing through the streets, high school sports,  or missed curfews ever happened- 

then I looked at Sam and remembered they did.

all boxed up

I spent the weekend in St. George visiting Mom and Grandma Great.

While I was there mom pulled out a large box with my name on it   Opening it I found letters and things from long long ago.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to dig deeper.

 My kids (and Sam) jumped to the box eager to see my boxed up past. 

We found cassett tapes (and of course I had to explain what they were!), misclanious pictures and trinkets I had kept.  

But the golden nugget was my diary from elementary and letters I collected after high school!  

They had a great time reading about my 4th grade crush and letters from other "boys".

It seems like a lifetime ago.

Now they tease me. :)

My moment of fame?

This weekend Sam and I attended a benefit dinner for Rising Star Outreach 

I am so excited I got to attend this one for 2 reasons.

First, I always miss their events because head quarters are in Provo, Utah.

This time I moved to Utah one week before the event!

The second reason I was excited to go was because they showed my video I made from my first trip to work with the leprosy afflicted in India.

But it doesn't end there!  The singer/songwriter of the song I used, Bianca Merkley, was there and performed live during my video!!  How cool is that?

She sounded great too!

        Bianca Merkley!

I was excited to wear my Indian clothes, until I saw this picture!  Is it cliche to say these clothes make me look fat!!?  I'm so bummed about the turn out.  My hair!?!  What?  I've seen better days.  I looked so much better in my mind.  :)

Sally Read, President of Rising Star Outreach.  

I got started with this organization because of Sally!  I was her visiting teacher in New Canaan (before she became the Pres.)  You can read about that here.

I am so happy I live closer to this organization.  Working with them is so uplifting!

So, who wants to go to India with me??