Consistency?

I take back what I wrote yesterday about not being consistent in anything. I’m pretty consistent in a lot of things but I’ve labeled them as “bad” so don’t consider them as accomplishments like I would the others. I'll turn over a new leaf and proudly claim some consistency...

~Sleeping in.
I ALWAYS want to sleep in. If the clock reads anything before 9am I want to go back to sleep. No matter what day it is!

~Ignoring the kitchen.
I will choose ANYTHING over doing the dishes. I consider it a GREAT accomplishment when I do dishes ONCE a day.

~NOT Getting ready for the day.
I really hope I can chalk this up to being just a phase, but I will admit I don’t spend more than 10min. looking in the mirror. My intention is just to look presentable at the bus stop but the truth is I never return to the mirror again. On the rare days when I do get “Ready” I wonder why I don’t do it more often. I takes too much time. I’d rather get “Things” done than spend my morning in the bathroom!

~Laundry.
I found a system that works great with the laundry. ALL the kids clothes are in the laundry room. I don’t store any clothes in their room!
They dress and undress in the Laundry room so the bedrooms stay clean! When I am done with a load they go straight from the dryer into the dresser or their individual clothes rack. I love this. (I also keep all the toys in the basement so NO toys or clothes= Clean Rooms!
BUT just to keep it real I always leave mine and Sam’s laundry half undone. I always have a full laundry basket in the bedroom. Some days they are dirty and other days that same basket is clean. Sam loves this guessing game!

~Shopping.
I hate shopping. Whatever kind of shopping it is...I don’t like it. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.

~Ice Cream.
I’m very consistent in this department! I love Ice Cream. I can eat ice cream till the cows come home! Right now my favorite is Vanilla with a huge handful of chocolate Chips! Yum!

New

I love the beginning of a New Year. I like the freshness of starting over.
I am not one to be consitant. The ONLY thing I have ever done for a whole year straight is Nurse Abigail. I really had to work at it for the last few months too. I was so proud to have accomplished that.
I am so fickle at best.
I have great intentions and then my human weaknesses kick in and I fizzle.
I wish passion lasted longer within me.

2011 was a great year for me. So many good things happened. I learned a lot more about myself.
It was a spiritual growth year for me too. I feel like understanding myself Spiritually is understanding the real me.
For the first time I am beginning to feel like ME. I like who I am and what gifts God has given me. I like discovering new things. I feel interesting for once.
I have something to offer this world. I have something to offer in all my relationships...that’s a good feeling.

Hurricane Irene

Today I rushed to get my life put together- in hopes it doesn’t get ripped apart tomorrow.
I didn’t know it was possible to get ALL the laundry done in one day.
I’ve never craved to clean my basement, garage, patio, or yard like I have today.

My starving shelves are plump again and my food storage, I fear, is going to be opened over the next few weeks.

Tomorrow, with the first drops of rain, I will be collecting all things valuable to me; my Journals, photos, documents, and family.
Our hideout in the basement is ready- whether I am or not.

Won’t this be fun?

www.hobihome.info

Grow where you are planted

I’ve lived in Connecticut for 8 years. You would think that’s long enough to call this place my home.

I don’t.

I still feel like this is all temporary. I marvel at the beauty in the Summer and feel like I’m in Heaven in the Fall and year after year I feel lucky to see it again.

It’s NOT mine and I won’t be here forever. My heart is removed from this place. I don’t know why.

There isn’t any other place in the world I am dying to relocate to, so these feelings don’t make a lot of sense. I will be BOLD and say I think our time in Connecticut is nearing an end. I don’t have any reasons except my heart has been telling me change is in the air.

Sam has a job HERE and doesn’t have offers in his back pocket but I know the Lord sees the bigger picture.
Poor Sam, he’s trying to make sense of me. He suggested I re-arrange the furniture or paint a room to satisfy my gypsy blood.
I think that’s funny. I do like change.

So, I wonder if I’ll ever grow roots and feel at home. When it comes down to it- Home is where your heart is. I can be happy where ever my family is.

I have done a lot of “growing up“ while living here. I couldn’t ask for a better people to learn from.

I just think I’m about to get up-rooted.

Isn’t life exciting...

Beautiful?

My Ember in India Blog is acting up on me...so I'm back to blogger till I figure it out.


I wish you could see what I see. I’m on a 4 hour road trip on a bus to Agra. I want to sleep but I can’t peel myself away from the window. India is so intriguing to me. Our one way freeway is littered with motorcycles, bikes, diesel trucks, horses, cows, dogs, tractors, vans, carts and pedestrians. It’s madness, to say the least. One way doesn’t mean one way. In fact, it doesn’t mean anything here. Cars drive both ways with one hand on the horn beeping the whole way. I think the horn replaced the blinker. I’ve studied the driving patterns and I have noticed all cars have “Sound Horn” painted on the back of the vehicle. Any car trip I have made hasn’t been complete without bouncing my way along the pot hole streets to the screeching horns the entire way. The roads to and from villages are terrible (and that’s an understatement)! But back to the horn...it doesn’t mean; “Watch out your going to get killed!” like it does most the time in the US. Instead it means I’m going to pass you, or “I see you walking down the street” or “I’m going to move closer to the edge” so, in other words the horn means everything and nothing! Cars weave in and out -drive all over the road and stop where they want. There are no rules to driving here, except that you need to be gutsy. Ramish, our tour guide said this about driving in India,
” Driving is 25% pedal, 25% horn and 50% luck.” He doesn’t drive if he can help it. It’s too crazy, he says.
Yesterday I 20 people cram into one vehicle! It was like something you would see in the Circus! Come to think of it-I think I have seen something like that in the Circus with clowns! The cars here a tiny compact cars too!

As we drive through what appears to be “Nowhere” men, women, and children are parading down the street. I can’t tell where they are going or where they have been. Nothing is around us. But the streets are buzzing.
Randomly we hit a busy spot and suddenly we are in the middle of a sad looking farmers market. Carts of fruit, drinks, clothes, bananas, and a variety of undefinable things are being sold in the mud covered streets with trash strewn about like dirt. Woman walk about adorned in beautiful Sari’s, carrying a child in their arms or a package on their head. They look stunning and it doesn’t make sense to me that they walk through filth like it’s not there.



Horns are bleating in every direction causing me to look here and there. I can’t keep up with the moment. I want to freeze time and analyze what I’m looking at. Consider life from their perspective but in an instant it’s all gone and I’m faced with new scenes and new questions before I’ve resolved any of the old ones.
Each Market is like a Where’s Waldo page. If you could sit and stare for more than a few seconds I’m sure I would see some amazing things.
One thing I could do without is the men relieving themselves in the street! I can’t endure a car trip without seeing this at least 5 times a day!

I feel as though I have been time warped. Old men sit atop wagons being pulled by ox, horse or even camel. Animals and carts travel alongside our bleating vehicles and over loaded cars. I’ve seen diesel trucks ,covered with tarps, with a community of people riding on top as if its a free ride. I can’t help but wonder if the driver is aware of the population on board.
In the fields I see stick huts here and there and then men squatting, like my kids do when watching ants in the sand. What are they doing?.




These little villages we pass through appear unannounced. Suddenly there are more cows, more trash and more people. I can’t figure out where they all came from. It’s as if they just appeared. The few buildings that are in the area look like they were bombed and only half the structure is left. A closer look reveals a family has set up a home inside. No windows, doors, or front steps. Just a big hole in a wall to enter and a roof to provide shelter or shade.
Motorcycles are the choice of transportation. Men in their buttoned shirts (almost always long sleeved) cruise around like harry potter on his stick.(what is it called? )
It’s not uncommon to see 3 men on one bike. Women side saddle behind their husbands covering their heads with their beautiful silk scarf while cradling their little babies in their bosom sleeping peacefully through the chaos.

Old me sit. That’s all I can tell they are doing. They sit alone with a wrap on their head and do nothing.

I like watching the cars as we go. Each one that passes has several faces I can stare at, and they stare right back! They love seeing American White people. If I wave their faces light up and they nudge their neighbor to look my way too.
Kids are quick to send a wave and the women are slow to make eye contact but once they do a loving smile emerges.
Trailers being pulled behind trucks are filled with people. It reminds me of hay rides in the Fall.

I often see men sprawled out on the ground dead asleep face down in the dirt, oblivious to the present moment of “LIFE” around them. At first I thought they were bums like we would see in NYC but I’ve realized it’s just an afternoon nap to escape the heat. They will plop over anywhere when it’s time for a snooze. Just like the need to bath, or pee. When it’s needed they do it.
There are no rules to life here. Everyone goes about their day trying to survive. To some that means they sleep all day in the shade, to others they are moving cattle or washing clothes to wear the next day. I wish I understood more.

Mud is everywhere. Trash is everywhere, unfinished buildings and makeshift shacks are everywhere.




The one thing that really puzzles me is how these smart clean people live in a disorganized filthy environment!
The men always have pressed and clean shirts The women are walking ordainments. They are covered heard to toe in amazing bright fabric with their hair always pulled into a braid. and the children wear freshly washed uniforms to school everyday! They look fantastic!
It floors me to see a gorgeous woman walk out of a mud, fly infested, hut and shop in the village that looks like a tornado wrecked havoc on it.

India has beautiful people. I don’t think India is beautiful

Follow me in India!

I am going to INDIA!!!

I created another blog to update while I'm there so come with me to India!
(I promise to keep you entertained!)

Ember in India

I leave this Friday. Jump on over to my Countdown page and get more details!

Inner Beauty...or NOT

Saturday I ran a Triathlon in Pawling, New York. I learned a few things about myself during the event.
I did the unthinkable (in my mind) and participated in the race without training for it.
The main reason I sign up for Triathlons is to motivate me to get in shape. I need to find a new tactic because this year that one failed miserably. I found I was just too busy to swim bike or run! I had no desire to do it.
Instead I have been running up and down stairs (that's 26 total) many many many times a day.

Mom brought it to my attention, after spending a few weeks with me over the Holiday’s ,that doing my everyday necessities must be keeping me in shape.
She ran up and down my stairs, chased the kids here and there, ran to this store and that store then came home and made dinner and cleaned up only to turn around and see that it all had to be done again the next day!
Being a Mom is a lot of work.

I didn’t train for my TRI because i didn’t want to. I was doing MOM stuff. Good thing it was marked on my calendar, otherwise I could’ve easily overlooked it.
The night before the race, my friend who also signed up called to make travel arrangements. At 8pm that night I still hadn’t put any thought into the race the following morning. ( I was having too much fun making a New York Trip Video for my family that came to visit.)

Nevertheless, I did climb out of bed at 5:30am Saturday morning and drive to Pawling NY.
I did this because I was curious to know how in shape (or out of shape) I was just by being an active mother.

This was a big test!

I did feel healthy and so I thought I’d give it a try.

I spent a good 30 minuets stretching before the race. I knew my muscles were going to go into shock if I didn’t.

First was the 1/4 mile swim. I jumped in and actually swam faster this time than I did when I trained for the same TRI in 2007!
Next was the 14 mile bike ride. I usually LOVE the biking part the most. This time it seemed like more work. (go figure)
Lastly was the 3 mile run. I’ll be honest- I HATED IT! My mom taught me not to say HATE but right now it is appropriate! I HATED it!
I’m not a big fan of running. Sometimes it is therapeutic but most the time I don’t enjoy it.

After I got off the bike and started running quite a few things were revealed to me.
1. I am NOT a runner.
2. I am GRUMPY when I have to run
3. I am not a nice person when I have to run
4. I I think mean things about other people when I have to run
5. running is hard!

I did it though! I finished the race! Then I wanted to throw up... Then I was STARVING!!!

Reflecting back to the pain of the run I realized I am a GRUMP when life gets hard!
People were cheering us along the way yelling things like; “Great job!” “You’re almost there!” “Way to go!” “You’re awesome!”

In my mind I was yelling back; “Oh Shut up! You don’t even know me!” or “Don’t tell me I’m almost there!” and the most frequent thought that came to mind was “This SUCKS!”

One man, I passed on the run, made an effort to thank every volunteer along the road.
He called out to them; “Thank you for Volunteering.”

He gave me something to think about for the next mile. I wondered why I got so ugly inside when I felt uncomfortable.
I like to think of myself as a nice person. I usually have compassion toward others, but come to find out, I’m only that way when it’s easy.

When I was in labor with Abi I recall “shhhh-ing!!” my nurse like a mean dog because she was “chatting” with Sam during a contraction.
I would NEVER be so rude in “reality”

Why do I get so ugly at times like this? Is it normal? Perhaps it is normal, but I don’t think it is RIGHT. The Natural man is and enemy to God. I don’t think I get more natural that that. These are real, on the spot feelings- and they are ugly.

So, my attempt to run a TRIATHLON without training was a success. My physical body passed the test!
But in the end I learned I am a healthy, strong Mother physically, but I need to work on my natural (mean) emotions that only surface when things get hard.
That’s why it’s important to do hard things. It purges the ugliness right out of you! (that is, if you even notice it)


My total time was 1:48:12