Follow me in India!

I am going to INDIA!!!

I created another blog to update while I'm there so come with me to India!
(I promise to keep you entertained!)

Ember in India

I leave this Friday. Jump on over to my Countdown page and get more details!

Inner Beauty...or NOT

Saturday I ran a Triathlon in Pawling, New York. I learned a few things about myself during the event.
I did the unthinkable (in my mind) and participated in the race without training for it.
The main reason I sign up for Triathlons is to motivate me to get in shape. I need to find a new tactic because this year that one failed miserably. I found I was just too busy to swim bike or run! I had no desire to do it.
Instead I have been running up and down stairs (that's 26 total) many many many times a day.

Mom brought it to my attention, after spending a few weeks with me over the Holiday’s ,that doing my everyday necessities must be keeping me in shape.
She ran up and down my stairs, chased the kids here and there, ran to this store and that store then came home and made dinner and cleaned up only to turn around and see that it all had to be done again the next day!
Being a Mom is a lot of work.

I didn’t train for my TRI because i didn’t want to. I was doing MOM stuff. Good thing it was marked on my calendar, otherwise I could’ve easily overlooked it.
The night before the race, my friend who also signed up called to make travel arrangements. At 8pm that night I still hadn’t put any thought into the race the following morning. ( I was having too much fun making a New York Trip Video for my family that came to visit.)

Nevertheless, I did climb out of bed at 5:30am Saturday morning and drive to Pawling NY.
I did this because I was curious to know how in shape (or out of shape) I was just by being an active mother.

This was a big test!

I did feel healthy and so I thought I’d give it a try.

I spent a good 30 minuets stretching before the race. I knew my muscles were going to go into shock if I didn’t.

First was the 1/4 mile swim. I jumped in and actually swam faster this time than I did when I trained for the same TRI in 2007!
Next was the 14 mile bike ride. I usually LOVE the biking part the most. This time it seemed like more work. (go figure)
Lastly was the 3 mile run. I’ll be honest- I HATED IT! My mom taught me not to say HATE but right now it is appropriate! I HATED it!
I’m not a big fan of running. Sometimes it is therapeutic but most the time I don’t enjoy it.

After I got off the bike and started running quite a few things were revealed to me.
1. I am NOT a runner.
2. I am GRUMPY when I have to run
3. I am not a nice person when I have to run
4. I I think mean things about other people when I have to run
5. running is hard!

I did it though! I finished the race! Then I wanted to throw up... Then I was STARVING!!!

Reflecting back to the pain of the run I realized I am a GRUMP when life gets hard!
People were cheering us along the way yelling things like; “Great job!” “You’re almost there!” “Way to go!” “You’re awesome!”

In my mind I was yelling back; “Oh Shut up! You don’t even know me!” or “Don’t tell me I’m almost there!” and the most frequent thought that came to mind was “This SUCKS!”

One man, I passed on the run, made an effort to thank every volunteer along the road.
He called out to them; “Thank you for Volunteering.”

He gave me something to think about for the next mile. I wondered why I got so ugly inside when I felt uncomfortable.
I like to think of myself as a nice person. I usually have compassion toward others, but come to find out, I’m only that way when it’s easy.

When I was in labor with Abi I recall “shhhh-ing!!” my nurse like a mean dog because she was “chatting” with Sam during a contraction.
I would NEVER be so rude in “reality”

Why do I get so ugly at times like this? Is it normal? Perhaps it is normal, but I don’t think it is RIGHT. The Natural man is and enemy to God. I don’t think I get more natural that that. These are real, on the spot feelings- and they are ugly.

So, my attempt to run a TRIATHLON without training was a success. My physical body passed the test!
But in the end I learned I am a healthy, strong Mother physically, but I need to work on my natural (mean) emotions that only surface when things get hard.
That’s why it’s important to do hard things. It purges the ugliness right out of you! (that is, if you even notice it)


My total time was 1:48:12

Today is Mothers Day!
This morning I was greeted in bed by Jarom, Jennica, Jace all dressed for church with their gifts they made at school.

Jace (age 6 in Kindergarten) has been so excited about mothers day! He has kept his gifts a secret all week. That’s a tough thing to do at age 6. I think it’s cute when kids try to keep sectrets. They become consumed with the desire to share the sacred secret! They tell you just about EVERYTHING they can without actually saying the exact words. This week Jace has been telling me the first letter to each of the gifts.

Once the gifts came home in his backpack he was like a sitting goose on her eggs. Returning several times to check on them, and once again constantly telling me where the gifts were and I was not allowed to look.

I remember being his age. I remember knowing my gift was special, simply because it was going to be for my mom.
Year after year I get a billion drawings in one day from my kids. All of them stating “I love you mom.“

I love the school projects that usually have the misspelled proclamation
Happy Mouthers Day! (Just like I misspelled it when I was young)

At church someone made the comment
”having teenagers makes us Christian“ That made me laugh.
I have had similar thoughts but couldn’t express it as equlotently as that.

I am closer to God because of my children. I am thankful I get to wake each morning to love, serve, and teach them.

my toenails always need a paint job
my fingernails are NEVER painted

my journal entries end in mid sentences
my kindergartener speaks run- on- for-ever -sentences

wipes are used for everything
my garage is a diaper landfill

my showers are normally cut short
my telephone conversations are always heard

my dirty laundry basket is replaced with a clean laundry basket

my quiet time is never quiet
my bed is never MINE

My moments as a young mother
will be missed when I’m old

Videography

I'm in love with my new Video Camera. It helps me make cool projects.
This one was so fun to make:

3rd Grade Iditarod

Give me an Event and I'll make you a memory!

Consistant?

If you know me, you know I like change!
My life is full of rearranging, new starts, and inconsistancy!

One thing constantly changing is my talents. I found a new obsession.
You can see for yourself HERE!
It's Blogging, Photography, & Videos!

Come visit HobiHome

India

I want to go to India.

I want to go to India really bad.

At the end of last year I started volunteering at Rising Star Outreach.

I did it because I visit teach Sally.
And Sally is involved in this Organization.

I thought this could be a good way to get closer to her and understand more of one of her passions.

I called the number she gave me and set up a time to meet Dani, the Volunteer Director.

I showed up the following day at the scheduled time, wondering what kind of help I would be.

I had in mind something like answering phones, stuffing mail, or filing papers. Office type of work.

When I met Dani, my first thought was, "I know her!"

I've never met Dani, but I feel like we've always been buddies.

She lives a Charmed Life. She is young, beautiful, has traveled all over the world, and knows how to play the Ukulele!
She is independent, confident and Spunky!
She has over 1,000 friends on Facebook (What??!!)

She's living the life I would be living if I wasn't living my 1st dream.

As I visited with her and her people, they asked me if I was comfortable with the computer.

I laughed. (I can USE the computer to blog, facebook and email. Anything outside of that I'm pretty much retarded.)

She followed up do you Blog? (Now we're speaking the same language!)

After divulging my obsession and sometimes "stalking" blog habits they asked if I would be interested in writing for the Rising Star Outreach Blog?

My cup of Tea! (I tried not to fall off my chair.)

"Do you Facebook?" was the next question.

The day before I met with them I "de-friended" almost everyone of my facebook Friends.
It was too much for me. I didn't want that distraction, so I cut almost everyone except family and a few friends.

"I do" I answered with a little quiver in my voice.

Would you be interested in being an Administrator to our Facebook page and keep it updated?

Suddenly my feelings toward Facebook changed!

"Cool!" I thought.

Somewhere, our conversation led to photography and my love for it, and by the time I walked out the door I agreed to be their Social Media Director and Photography Manager too.

On my drive home I was dumbstruck with what just happened.

I was so giddy inside! I couldn't wait to tell my husband what I just signed up for.

Since that day, every Tues. I work on the Rising Star Outreach Blog and Facebook Page.
I love Tuesdays.

I LOVE what giving of my talents does for my soul!

I am learning as I go and I am already in LOVE with the little children in India.
I LOVE what this organization is about.
I LOVE being part of it in my own small way.

I've decided I am going to India. I'm going to make it happen. And I'm going to earn my own way there.
I know my husband could make it happen (and would) but I've decided I'm going to continue to use my talents and somehow, someway I, a stay at home mom, will go to India.

I will be proof that you don't have to have a lot of money to make a difference.

(And a good place to start is being a better Visiting Teacher....)

I was so wrong!

Recently, I enjoyed the Holiday Season with my Mother. During her stay at my home she and I had moments where I could reflect on childhood memories and experiences with her.

Due to the “Spirit of Giving” felt in the air, I shared with her my favorite childhood memory.

In 4th Grade I chose to do the 12 Days of Christmas to a less liked, and poor, girl in my school class.
I have reflected on this experience many times in my life.

I sat next to this girl at school and each morning she would playback every detail of her receiving experience to ME, the giver.
She was determined to catch ME. She had plans each day on how she was going to do it. I even helped her come up with a few ideas!

Each night was a success for me. The following morning she would be so frustrated that her plan didn’t work! How do they get away with it! She was sure she was going to out smart them at least ONE night!

For several of the 12 days this game went on. She continued to spill the beans to me.
Having this interaction with her made the entire experience for me. I felt an unlikely friendship flourish between us.

I remember planning the gift one night. I was at our local Ben Franklyn’s hardware store with only a few dollars. I searched the store for the perfect gift.
I had so many great idea’s but the problem was my limited resources. I sat on the floor near the cashiers stand counting my bag of coins, frustrated that my desires were constrained. I thought: “If I were rich, I could do the best 12 days of Christmas!” At that moment I decided if I grew up and had a lot of money I would have so much fun giving it to the needy.

I don’t remember many of the gifts I gave her, but I do remember one. It was the last day- Day 1. It was the best day of the entire event!

Sometime Previous (Maybe a month) Mom had bought me the most beautiful White dress complete with ruffles and lace! When I looked at that dress for the first time I remember thinking I had died and gone to Heaven. My next thought was I wish church was tomorrow.
Unfortunately, Sunday was 4 days away and even worse...the dress didn’t fit! It was too small. Oh, how I tried to pretend it fit.

Because Mom had purchased the dress up North she couldn’t return it so I was left to Donate it. I was heart broken.I still remember
that feeling of disappointment. The dress hung in my closet for some time; always stinging my heart when I saw it.

As the 12 days were ending Mom suggested I give the dress for a gift.
That idea filled my soul with love. I knew that was the perfect gift to give her on Christmas Eve.

I wrapped the gift and carried it to the car like it was Cinderella’s glass slipper.
I knew this girl wouldn’t otherwise own a dress like this. I couldn’t wait to hear about it at school. (but I had to wait till after the school break!)

That year I experienced the “Spirit of Giving.” and it stuck with me.
I learned a valuable lesson as an 8 year old. Serving others fixes the holes in my heart. I like WHO I am when I am giving.

Up through graduation I had a special unspoken connection with this girl. She didn’t change much in 10 years. Socially we never crossed paths again. Our senior year she was still a homely, quiet, shy girl. But I felt I loved her and I think she felt it too.

I have reflected on this childhood experience often. Now, as a young Mother, I am still being taught by it.

Today 20+ years later I recognize a familiar desire. Unlimited $$$ so I could give to others. I have often thought:

“I would love to surprise her with a desperately needed vacation.”
“I wish I could just buy a car for them.”
“I wish I could afford to fly home to see ____”
“I wish I could pay for her to have this.”
“I wish I had money to go to India!”

My list can go on! (and it does)
My desires are pure but today-I repeat TODAY I realized I am so wrong.

After attending a RS Lesson on Sacrifice, and preparing to give next weeks lesson on Consecration, I saw the flaw in my desires.

Mother Teresa says, “A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves.”

Elder Bruce R. McConkie states:
“When it costs us but little to give, the treasure laid up in heaven is a small one.

Sam concluded, The perfect gift gives both the giver and receiver.

I’m going to stop putting off service because I don’t have the time.
I’m going to stop wishing I had more money to give.

The truth is, God has given me what I have and he’s waiting to see what I’ll do with it!

Photo: The Widows mite
The widows mite, given in sacrifice, weighs more heavily in the eternal scales than the bulging granaries of the rich man.”