Monday, May 31, 2010

One sweet day


Three day weekends are always wonderful.
Today the weather was perfect for a pool party.

I decided to run to the location of the pool party for my bit of exercise today.
It was the first time I have gone running in about 9 months!

I felt awkward, heavy, and out of shape.

It didn’t help that most the way was UPHILL!

At one moment I felt I had to be running in place. The scenery wasn’t changing and the hill wasn’t ending.

At the top of this hill there sat a little girl and a lemonade stand. I never pass on a lemonade stand, no matter the cost or size of cup. I feel it’s important to add to a child’s lemonade experience.

Once she saw me she perked up and I thought, “Oh great, I’m going to have to turn her down.” that thought was followed with,
“Is she seriously thinking I have change on me?”

Once I got within ear shot she calls out, “Are you Amber?” (I claim that name also, most people get it wrong)

“Yes” I answer completely out of breath and immediately caught onto the game being played. (Sam drove ahead of me with the kids and I figured he must have stopped and paid for my cup of Lemonade.)

She called out to me again saying, “Sam bought you a cup of lemonade.”

I laughed out loud and accepted my drink. How clever of Sam.
They offered me seconds but one sugar loaded drink on a run was enough.

I ran the rest of the way with a smile on my face. I was impressed with my Man’s thoughtfulness.


The friends we were visiting live a charming life. A Guest house they call a BARN is complete with basketball court, bowling alley, stage, and movie theatre.
Their yard is amazing adorned with pool, hot tub, pond and outdoor kitchen with drawers full of soda and ice cream!

We had a BBQ which was delicious, but the best part was the dessert. BH is a girl after my own heart. She loves Ice Cream. I don’t think there has been a time I have visited without her serving us Ice Cream.
Today she served us Baskin Robins style. Huge tubs of ice cream, trays of brownies and cookies, fruit parfait, and toppings galore!

It was Heavenly!


The worst part about all this is.....I’m 2 weeks deep in a Biggest Looser Competition.
I couldn’t let my team down. I dished out all you can eat ice cream to my kids but didn’t take a bite. I’m still quite surprised and pleased with myself. I can eat ice cream till the cows come home and then move on to pizza.


This is the food I did NOT partake of:



We returned home water logged and stuffed full (except me).

When I grow up I want to be fun like them.....and rich! :)


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Give Me A Break....

Wouldn’t it be great if some things were FREE?

Like School Lunch, Doctor visits, Babysitting, Piano or a Pool pass?

I like to think I would DO more things if I didn’t have to fork out the dough so often.

One of our favorite places is the Town Library....IT’S FREE!!!

Jace always asks if he could “BUY this book.”

I remind him we get to “Borrow” them.

He doesn’t get it. He still says Buy.

At the Library the kids get to play the computer for FREE

Check out books for FREE

Join Story Time for FREE

and my favorite, PARK for FREE!

So, I wonder:

WHY IN THE WORLD DO I OWE $30 TO THE LIBRARY???......

late fees on the FREE movies.

Good thing our new house has a Money Tree growing in the backyard!

 
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Photo: Jace sporting his Buzz Lightyear sunglasses. Can you say Erkle?

Mom

From EmBeR


I didn't call my Mom on Mothers Day!!
I fell asleep feeding Abi and when I woke up it was morning.

I Love my Mom. She is me in 30 years.
Last year she drove to California to join us at Disneyland, then flew out here to be at Jarom's baptism in the Fall.
This year she was here for 2 weeks when Abigail was born. I love having her part of my family.
Thanks Mom for your friendship and support.
I love you!

My Mothers Day was so great! I really had a day off. I stayed in my room ALL day, except to eat the yummy meals my hubby made for me. Being in my room all day to write in my journal and read was a dream! Abi was by my side sleeping most the time. It was fun to really have a day of rest!
(I should have called Mom during the day but apparently I was too busy sitting on my rear!)

The Competition

**A post I forgot to publish last May. aka: "Baby Brain"***

I’ve been eating cupcakes, muffins, licorice, and almost anything else I desire.

You see, next week I am joining a Competition.
The Biggest Looser Competition!

I want to be sure to be really FAT when it starts so I loose a lot!

The Competition starts on my exact 6 week Postpartum date.
Till then I will continue to enjoy my treats and lack of exercise.

I gain a lot during pregnancy. One thing I really enjoyed while pregnant was I ate when I was hungry and I ate till I was full!

I told Jarom about the Competition today- he thought it was a good idea for me to join.

“You really need it Mom....no offense, but you do.” he stated matter-of-factual.

I didn’t take offense. I laughed at the subject content I was having with my 8 year old boy. What does he know about all this??

He also asked me when I was going to be “NORMAL” again so we could play basketball together.

I hope to loose close to 40 pounds by the end of 13 weeks.

Bye, bye sugar. Hello Green Smoothie Girl.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Officer Hobi

 
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Photo by Keri


Everywhere I go people are watching, pointing, smiling, and even pulling over!
At first I thought they were looking at me (and my flattering Post Pregnancy figure)
then I thought is was sweet Abi they were adoring.

Nope.

It's Officer Hobi.

During one outing two different people stopped to take his picture.
He is stopping traffic in his new costume Grandma Trena gets credit for!

Isn't it great?

I think a trip to the Police Station is going on the To Do List.

 
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We could use more officers like this one!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Mothers Day Memory

Last year on Mothers Day I was in bed with Kidney Stones.
This year on Mothers Day I am in bed with a new baby!

I remember finding joy ,last year, in that painful experience, as I sat home alone while the rest of my family was at church without me.
I reread that journal entry this morning and thought it ironic that I would have a similar experience a year later.
I am still in love with New England, and am enjoying a morning alone to stare at my beautiful baby.
I still feel a “Perfect Mothers Day, for me, is to be left alone. Quiet moments go a LONG way with me.
The difference this year is I am not at Husted Lane and I'm not in pain. Already I remember that life with fondness and look forward to my new life as a new mother...again.

Mothers Day Last year:

Through my opened window I awoke to New England sounds.

First church bells, then the distant sound of a lawnmower, birds, quarling dogs, chimes and
best of all- kids enjoying the dry morning.
It has been raining for the past week. A rain we understand is necessary for the trees and blossoms that surround us here.

The leaves on the trees and bushes are filling in quickly. Growth is everywhere, concealing our “Heaven on Earth” here on Husted Lane. I like it like this.

It’s Mothers Day today, May 10th. The air is cool with a bold breeze playing the chimes, and spreading the Lilac aroma trying to bloom.

Typically, Mothers Day for me is spent at Church where all mothers are given a flower and motherhood is lauded in talks throughout the day.

Today I’m enjoying the day from the comforts of my own bed. (with kidney stones)

The house is quiet. All three kids fed, dressed, and off to church with dad.

This is the PERFECT Mothers Day.

There is something about solitude that does me good!

I hear things I wouldn’t normally listen to like the squirrels running along the fence.

I have thoughts that can linger longer without being interrupted by the zillion things a mother typically does.

I see beauty everywhere. Now that Winter is behind us, I am once again, living in Paradise!

I love the thick green trees, the cool morning air, the constant chirping birds and antique stone walls that are staples here in New England.

I love our Stone Terrace, grass circle, and paved subdivision, which is the envy of our friends. Sidewalks don’t exist here, so a place to ride a bike for young
kids is hard to find. (Unless you drive to the church parking lot)

I know the day we move from Husted Lane (no plans in the making) I will cry.

This is where the bulk of my motherhood days have been spent. This is where I have taught my kids so many things.
This is where we experienced so many milestones together as a family. This place has been perfect for us.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Jace's big 5!

 
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Big Brother just got bigger. Jace is now 5 years old. We celebrated with Birthday Pancakes in the morning, and Family Movie Night complete with Pizza and Candy.
His birthday "request" was a police costume with handcuffs....we didn't have any luck. The next best thing...Toy Story toys.
He was pleased with all the gifts but that night he kindly told me:

"Mom, I like my presents but next time you should have bought me a police costume."

Happy Birthday to my dress up King! Another costume diverted.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Just as I Imagined

My Birth Story is simple and beautiful...just how I imagined it to be.

“When are you due?“ people would ask.

”Easter Sunday!“ Was my reply, although my actual due date was Saturday. I just knew it was going to happen on a Sunday.

All my babies come on Sunday.

At nights I would lie awake in bed and visualize how my labor would play out , and what do you know...It happened that very way.

First of all, I knew Grandma Trena had to be here. Her flight was scheduled for the Wednesday Night before the due date.

”What are you backup plans?“ My mom would ask when we talked on the phone.

”I don’t do backup plans Mom, the baby isn’t coming till you get here.“ I reassured her.

Grandma arrived and we enjoyed three full days together...just as I imagined.
I still had some unpacking and decorating to do since moving and we tried to have all the supplies on hand so we could still move forward after the baby without having to go out.

Two days before my due date was declared ”Shop till I DROP“ We were running errands ALL day. I thought for sure the baby was going to fall out. By the end of the day I was holding my belly from underneath as I walked.

That night I prayed NOT to go into labor...I was too tired.

My due date, arrived.

The morning went on like usual. It was Conference weekend so we were preparing for our afternoon of Enlightenment.

Right at Noon Conference started along with my contractions!

I parked myself into the recliner with a blanket and water bottle and breathed through contractions while listening to the talks. I made it through the first session with contractions coming every 3 to 6 min.

The kids were thrilled with the possibility of a baby coming that day. Jennica stayed near and watched tenderly when I began breathing through the pain, offering me some water or a gentle pat then always asking: “Was that a big one?”

The rest of the afternoon contractions continued but didn’t seem to intensify as I’d hoped they would.

By dinner they had completely stopped.

The kids went to bed, Sam went to Priesthood Session at the church, and I sat on the couch and ate a PINT of Ben & Jerry’s and got a little depressed.
Mom rubbed my numb puffy feet with lotion and I complained about not having contractions anymore.

At 11pm I waddled up to bed frustrated but tired. It was clear to me I was not in charge.
I fell asleep quickly because the next thing I remember was being awakened with an intense contraction!

I looked at the clock. It was 12 midnight.

I sat upright in bed and wondered if I had just imagined that contraction. I lay back down with my eye on the clock ready and waiting for more.
12:03am another one came, These weren’t like the ones I had all afternoon. These were the big daddy’s.

Suddenly I was rethinking the whole “Wishing I were in labor” thoughts.

By 12:30am I awoke Sam and told him I was on my way to labor. He timed me at 3 min. apart for another half hour then I told him to make the call to the Mid-wife. I knew I had a 40min drive ahead of us and I could tell I was progressing.

At 1:30am I announced our departure to Grandma then climbed into the car wearing only my pink bathrobe and flip flops.

“Aren’t you going to get dressed?” Sam asked.

“No need” I answered “It’s all coming off when I get there anyway.”

The following 40 min. we drove to the Birthing Center with 3 min contractions.

The roads were obviously clear- traffic wasn’t going to be a problem....just as I had imagined.

A few min. before arriving I began questioning my position. Was this serious enough to be at the Birthing Center.
I knew I had to be dilated to at least a 6 before they will admit you. “Was I at a 6?“ I wondered.
The contractions really hurt but then for 3min I felt fine until the next one hit. It was during one of the 3 min. of no pain that I began having these thoughts.

When we pulled up to the Birthing Center the Mid-Wife greeted me at the car. She asked how I was doing just as I was hit with another contraction.
My entourage waited while I breathed through it and once it passed I climbed out of the car.

”I hope you take naked patients“ I joked as I walked to the door.
As I said that I felt my water began to leak (at the steps of the Birthing Center)
A Sense of relief came over me. That was my sure ticket to be admitted.

Once I was inside she asked to check how dilated I was.

I was a little nervous. I felt like I would be at least a 6.

”You’re at an 8!“ she announced a little surprised.

”An 8?“ I was shocked. ”Sam! I’m at an 8!“ I announced to him as he entered the room.

Hearing this gave me a bit of extra confidence.

”I drew you a bath, if your interested.” the Mid-wife offered.

That was music to my ears. A Hot bath was exactly what I wanted.

“The baby still looks a little high, it needs to drop a bit.” She observed as I dropped my robe.

Being the only one naked in a room would normally make me a little uncomfortable, but I’ve noticed when I am in labor I don’t care who is watching.

I climbed in and thought I was in Heaven. It felt so nice.

“Would you be interested in birthing in the tub?”

I have had thoughts about a Water Birth but didn’t visualize that happening for some reason.

“Lets wait and see when the time comes.” I answered. I liked the way the bath felt but feared I would want a change by the time the baby came. I was gearing up for a long labor given her observation of the baby still being high.

After 3 contractions in the bath (that’s a little over 15min being at the Birth Center) I started into “Transition.”

My chipper attitude went sour and I did NOT like my situation any longer.

“OH SUCK!” I said out loud. (really was thinking a different word, but I’ve never let that word escape my lips so I used it’s back up. )

The next thing I knew the contractions were on top of each other. I just wanted a moment to breath between them but they kept coming.

By now I realized there was NO WAY i was going to stand up and get out of the bath.

I was there to stay.

With each contraction not a word could be spoken in the room. One nurse tried offering encouragement and I shut her down. “SHHH!” I demanded feeling a tiny bit guilty... but then not really.

Nothing could be touching me! The tap was running to add more heat and I quickly snapped that it be turned off.

All my thoughts and energy had to go into my body. I held my body up with my hands under by bottom to keep me afloat.
It seemed as if my body were absorbing more pain if it was touching something. Being in the bath was the perfect spot for me.

My eyes were closed the entire time and you can believe half the time I was praying for help.

I wanted to crawl out of my body. UNCOMFORTABLE is the best word to describe what I was feeling. Squirm is what I wanted to do but there isn’t a lot of room to do that in a bath.

“OH SUCK!!” I yelled again. “My water really broke......OH CRAP THIS HURTS!” I yelled.
The Mid-wife, Nurse and Sam gathered around (Well, I think they did. My eyes were still closed. I could feel them all near.)

Then I begged for some water. I was SOOOOOOO thirsty suddenly. I couldn’t even drink it though because the contractions didn’t stop long enough for me to sip it.

“OUCH.....OUCH......OUCH THIS HURTS!” I’m announcing to the world. For some reason it made me feel better to yell how I felt. It had to be known that I was in pain. Just dealing with it wasn’t enough. I had to yell, and I did till it was over.

“I have to push!” I said in almost a question.

“Then push.” came the sweet calm reply from my Mid-wife.

At this point I realized I was in charge of this birth.

“Do what your body needs to do.” She encouraged me while sitting at the edge of the bath.

This is where my birthing story begins. My body took over and I felt it bear down and push without me doing it. Once I felt it do this I was quiet for a moment. I couldn’t believe what just happened. My Body knew what to do and it did it. I just had to trust that it could. I put forth some renewed effort a few more times then heard the Mid-Wife say: “Look at all that hair Sam. I can see the head- look at all that hair!”
She then encouraged me to reach down and touch the head but I refused. I couldn’t break my concentration. A few more pushes and then I experienced what they lovingly termed “THE RING OF FIRE!!”
I won’t go into detail. THE RING OF FIRE just about sums it up nicely.
The only good thing about the RING OF FIRE is that it is at the very end but it defiantly lasts LONG enough.

After a few more pushes and my demand to PULL IT OUT!!!!!

A little baby was placed on my belly.

Instantly the pain was gone and it wasn’t about ME anymore. A little human had just entered into the world.
I held the baby while the Mid-wife covered us in warm towels.

The baby seemed so small. I rubbed it, encouraging it to breath or cry. It seemed like a long time without a response.

“Don’t worry,” my mid-wife said. “It’s still connected to your umbilical cord- it has time.”

This baby I was holding was perfect. It lay on me as if it were asleep. It’s eyes were closed resting peacefully unbothered by the journey it just made.
Nothing moved. Calm as ever....

After sucking out the nose and mouth I literally saw life fill my child with it’s first breath. I watched my baby come to life. Now, it was awake and screaming.
I was enamored by what just took place. I had never experienced anything like this with my other 3 births.

Sam was by my side as they continued to place warm towels on us. For a few minuets the gender of the baby never crossed my mind. All I cared about was keeping it warm and loving it.

It wasn’t until the Mid-wife caught view of it’s gender that the subject came up.

“Oops, I saw what it is!” She confessed to us. “Sam come over here and see what you have.”
Sam took a peek and gleefully proclaimed we had a GIRL!

Just as I had imagined!

We climbed out of the bath and made our way into the bedroom. At that moment, only a few minuets after giving birth, I felt so normal! Not an ounce of discomfort. The following two days this continued. It wasn’t until the third day my stomach muscles were sore and I began to feel my body slow down.

After the Mid-wife and nurse checked both of us over we were left to ourselves.

The Birthing Center requires a patient stay a minimum of 3 hours before leaving, and given the time of birth was 2:57am the three of us cuddled up for a little nap before returning home.

Of course, I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t take my eyes off our new girl.
She had a head of dark hair, long beautiful fingers, Sam’s nose, the perfect dimples and a rooting mouth! She was searching for something to to suck the moment she arrived!

By 8am I felt I had been patient enough and woke Sam. I wanted to be back home in my own bed. Let’s go home!

We gathered our things, notified the Nurse that we were leaving, signed a few papers and walked out the door.

I was so happy on the way home. I felt we were 100% in control of this delivery. I didn’t have Dr. or Nurses imposing on our experience.

It was Private and beautiful. Just how I Imagined it to be.


I called the kids and told them we were on our way home. They begged me to tell them what it was. We decided they could wait another 20 min. to see for themselves.

When we pulled into the driveway all three of them were outside on the lawn jumping up and down, chasing us to till we stopped.
They were herded into the Living room and we brought the baby seat covered with a blanket and set it in the middle of the room.

“What is it?” “What is it?” They were all beside themselves.

One last time we had each of them guess the gender. All three of them cheered GIRL, GIRL, GIRL.

All eyes were on the blanket ready to reveal their new sister when a little hand poked out from under it, as if to say Hello.

“It’s a GIRL!” we declared removing the blanket.

There sat a tiny BRAND new baby girl, Abigail Ember Hobi born on Easter morning....Just as I had Imagined
 
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Photo by Keri

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

3 days left?

I’m still “heavy with child” and surprisingly not miserable about it.

My due date is Saturday.

Morning after morning I climb out of bed and spend the entire day moving my pregnant body up and down stairs, bending over endlessly to pick up things off the floor and unpacking boxes.

I feel good.

Really tired at night but that’s a plus- at least I am sleeping.

With my other three pregnancies I was such a boob the last few weeks. I remember crying and feeling sorry for myself each morning I’d wake up and still be pregnant. My days were filled with hopes the baby would be early.

This time I have been praying the baby won’t be early. I have had so much to do.

I am ready now.

Grandma is being picked up at the airport this minuet and the laundry is done.

All my “little” things I wanted to have completed are done. (except the kitchen is a mess right now and it is driving me crazy but I’ll stay upstairs where I can’t see it and my lovely husband or mom will clean it for me!- standing at the sink washing pot and Pans and bending over the dishwasher with a huge tummy is not my idea of fun. I’ll use the pregnant card for as long as I can. It’s going to expire soon)

Last Saturday I thought the game was on! At 9:30pm I started having contractions that lasted till 1:30am.

Then I fell asleep and they stopped. At least that got the bag packed and car seat installed. We needed that little nudge. Sam packed the bag while I breathed.

Sam has had the week off work to help me get things put away and organized here at home. It has been fun having him around all day while the kids are at school. We got a lot done.

I love our new home. Just as it gets clean we unload more boxes and it’s a mess again. Things should stay clean now so I can really enjoy it.

It doesn’t feel complete quite yet- I think the baby will make the finishing touch.

We are all so anxious.

I am so glad we have waited to see what we are getting. It has made these last few days really exciting.

I’ve been telling Sam the baby is waiting for Grandma to get here before it arrives.

Now, I’m ready, and I think the baby is too???

New House...can't sleep

March 15, 2010 4:21 AM

It’s 4am and I can’t sleep. The baby is keeping me company, kicking and squirming inside of me.

Last night I feel asleep on the couch next to Sam reading and a fire in the fireplace. It was so cozy and peaceful.

I woke up to new noises that come with an unfamiliar house.

It’s pitch black. I’m not even quite sure where the light switches are. I need to get some night lights.

The wind is hassling the trees outside.

The house is still strewn with boxes.

As for now, I guess I’ll just wait till morning and see what the sunrise brings to my new life in my new house.

It’s kind of odd to be at a loss at 4:30am in an unfamiliar home.

Left alone with my thoughts is always welcome, but it’s REALLY dark. ☺

Farewell to Husted Lane

***Because of our recent move and lack of internet, I am posting journal entries now.


March 15, 2010 3:42 AM

The last load at Husted Lane was packed quickly. Suddenly the rooms were empty and we were off to our new home.
I found myself alone in the house closing windows and locking doors, and that’s when I got emotional.

As I pulled the blinds closed; my life at Husted Lane went dark. With the rain coming down outside and wind rattling the windows the tears came freely as I walked through the hall one more time. The finger prints on the walls were wiped clean, the bedrooms once full of personality now empty.

Our Home was now just a House.

I cried leaving the walls that protected my little family for five years. Husted Lane has been a paradise to me. It’s where I potty- trained my kids, taught them to read, ride bikes, and clean.

It’s where my “young” mothering days were formed.

From the beginning, I have always told Sam: “I’m going to cry when we leave this place.”

And there I stood, in the kitchen sobbing in his arms with our kids and our life waiting in the moving truck.

Life on Husted Lane was beautiful.

I stopped at the mail box on my way down the stairs and read our family name on the box. So many memories attached to so many things. It’s hard to put an end to good things.

Don, our Land Lord, stood under the garage door to keep dry and watched as we stuffed the last boxes into cars. I sat in the car and cried to mom on the phone, happy the rain was concealing my emotions. I’m going to miss him. He really took care of us.

As the moving truck pulled away I pulled up to him with a tear stained face and said good-bye.
“You were like my serrogant daughter” he said. “It’s not going to be the same around here.”

Leaving felt like a dream.

I’m still here- I’m just not there.

Our new house isn’t a home yet but each day we’re one empty box closer.

Friday, March 12, 2010

37 weeks

With three weeks to go and a move on the morrow I wonder if I'll capture another photo before the birth.
Here we all are wondering what flavor is inside!

 
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

5 friends

Don’t underestimate the power of friends! Today five friends showed up to my house to help pack.
In 3 hours my walls were bare, closets empty, bathrooms hallow, and kitchen packed!

My five years of living here was tenderly gathered up and tucked away before I even finished my laundry!

I am so thankful these girls took the time to serve me.

Lastnight I put myself to bed at 6pm. To say I am tired would be an understatement.
There is NO way I could have done any of this alone. In fact, I didn’t do much at all with them here.

This morning I was a mess. I was on my knees begging for strength to get through this week.
My prayer was answered by 5 friends.

I can do this now.

Thank you Cholhe, Lindsay, Lillian, Jamie, & Michelle


PS- I’m thrilled that my house is packed but at the same time it seems rather sad that a household of 5 can be packed up in 3 hours!!
Further proof we live in a small space.
This move is going to be wonderful!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Snow Globe

 
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I've decided to take pictures of the kids art work instead of keeping them all. I pulled this out of Jennica's folder this morning and had a good laugh. I know what she meant to say but this still tells the truth.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Birth Plan

 
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In four short weeks my baby is due. What is the most important thing to me right now?....My Birth Plan.

Giving Birth is more than showing up to the Hospital.

To me, giving birth is allowing my body to perform its God ordained gift.

Mothers “GET“ to birth babies. This is what our bodies do. We are not SICK. Our bodies are NOT broken when we go into labor.

I don’t want to step into a Hospital and be treated like I have a ”Condition.“ I’m about to take part of the greatest miracle to humans.
Don’t tie me up to an IV or restrict me to a bed! Don’t watch the clock and monitor the drugs.

Stand back and watch my body work with God! I can’t wait!

Don’t get me wrong, I know there will be pain, but I truly feel labor should be an amazing Spiritual experience. (pain included)
Thus brings me to the ”Birth Plan.“ How do I view Birth?

I am on my 4th child and I’ve experienced all varieties of birth.

Jarom, was mostly Natural with a few doses of Nubian, delivered by a Mid-wife.
Jennica, I went in to be induced and upon arrival experienced major bleeding and was rushed off for Emergency C-Section. (talk about being in the right place at the right time!!!)
Jace, I had an Epidural. (Talk about easy birth experience!!)

This pregnancy I feel I want more out of the experience. I feel something has been missing.

A few weeks ago I realized I needed to be mentally ready for this birth. A lot is going on in my life right now (moving this weekend) and it has been easy to put aside the realization of the due date arriving soon. (hence, the lack of a boy name ).

My inner self has been warning me it’s time to get ready emotionally and mentally
.
But, I’ve done this 3 times...why the pressure? What was I looking for?

After talking to my sister about it she suggested I look up ”Spiritual Birth“ and see where it takes me.

That was exactly where I needed to go! (Thanks Sis!)

The ”Spiritual“ aspect of Labor has been missing. I have viewed birth as a condition- not the miracle it is.
After a few trips to the Library I found the perfect book that offered the perspective I was searching for. I read the book in two settings.

Today I watched a Documentary on Birth and feel ashamed that I wasn’t educated about this BEFORE my 1st child.

My body isn’t any different today, than the women 1000 years ago who trusted their bodies to handle birth. I feel I feared birth because of the way our culture views it, and the way I was treated each time I gave birth. It was too much scheduling, monitoring, restrictions, tests. If I didn’t keep to the rules my baby would be in danger!!
Talk about giving up the power of our bodies to the natural man!

Technology is wonderful if something goes wrong. That’s what its for. (Like Jennica’s Birth) But it saddens me that I didn’t trust my body to do what we are created to do! I know PAIN is in the forefront of our minds when we opt out but consider the gift it really is. I never thought of it that way.
I just went with the flow. Did what my Dr. told me to, and showed up at the Hospital when it hurt!

For some reason this time was different. I listened to my body first and then my Dr. I found myself refusing most of the blood work and ultrasounds because they seemed unessary. I just wanted to pay attention to my body. I didn’t know exactly why. I just didn’t want to do it all. Now I see that was the beginning of trusting my body.
I knew everything was fine. My Dr. wanted test’s to prove that. Just like the Hospital will want the machines to tell them and me when I should deliver.

Does that sound right?

Showing up to the Hospital won’t cut it for me this time. My Dr. won’t deliver this baby.

My body will.

Will it hurt? Yes. Because my body is ALLOWING life to come forward. My body knows what to do, and it will do it if I TRUST it.

I think it’s all in the way you view Labor. If you feel your body is broken because you are going into Labor you go to the Hospital and they will take away the pain and ”fix“ you.

If you feel your body is doing what is Necessary to bring forth Life, you surrender to it!

What a challenge.


(With this newfound knowledge I realize I have a problem. The Hospital I am registered to birth at does not allow Freestanding Birth. When I check in I will be monitored and hooked up to an IV and probably confined to a bed. That leaves no room for allowing my body to move as it needs. Therefore, tomorrow we will be calling a Birthing Center out of town to see if they will take a new patient 36 weeks along! If not, plan B is to labor as long as I can at home and arrive at the Hospital to push.
Further proof that we lead a Spontaneous Life. Who makes changes like this in the 11th hour? The Hobi’s ALWAYS do!)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Photo of the Week

 
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The best part of Shadow Pictures is it doesn't matter what you are wearing or if your hair is not perfect!!
It's all about shapes...and I've got SHAPE these days!
I played with the focal B&W to add a little "Glow" to my belly and to some bricks.
It's a perfect day today!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Grump

I am one Grumpy Mama Bear!

Please tell me it’s just a phase, I’ll grow out of it soon. (sooner than later for my kids’ sake)

Jace told me he didn’t like my attitude when I refused to play Dora and Boots with him.

My attitude really does stink.

Inside I feel as crusty as I probably look.

I lack the spunk I use to have.

I’m just a waddling, grump.

It can’t be because I’m tired of being pregnant.

I’m Not. I need this baby to stay in there.

I have a house to pack and unpack.

Grandma isn’t coming till the 30th and she and I have plans to unpack and get settled before the bundle arrives.

I am perfectly ok with it even showing up late!!!

So, is this a normal pregnancy hormonal issue?

It seems I’m always grumpy at the end.

No one likes to hang out with a Grump...not even a 4 year old.

Crawl in my skin!!!




I have an issue with the phone.

If you want to see me crawl in my skin, ask me to call up someone and ask for something!

I can’t stand to do that!

I don’t mean like calling for Pizza- that one I can do.

For instance, this week I was asked by the Scout Master to contact our local Tae Kwon Do studio to see if they would be interested in participating in our Blue and Gold Banquet teaching our boys a few Tae Kwon Do moves.

We have a Black Belt in our home so I have done my fair share of hanging out with the Masters.
The thought of doing this STILL made me want to hide under my bed.

I willingly accepted the assignment, at the same time backpedalling in my mind, wondering how I could get away without doing it!

I let a few days go by without even making the attempt to contact them.

I floated the idea past Sam to see if he would take the bate and rescue me...no luck.

So, this morning I thought I found a way around it!

I figured I’d call the Studio first thing in the morning when they WEREN’T there and I could leave a message!

8:30am I dialed the number with my speech ready to go.

I guess it’s the dialogue that I’m uncomfortable with. Leaving a message and waiting for an answer is SO much better!

After a few rings and expecting the machine the MASTER PICKED UP THE PHONE!!!!

Panic! !!! What is he doing in the Studio so early?? Classes don’t start till noon!!!

Ughh.....“Hi Master Hwang! It’s Ember Hobi, Jarom Hobi’s mother......” I spit out.

Needless to say, I made it through the phone call alive but my blood pressure shot up and I my insides were a mess!

If I never had to use the phone I’d get a long just fine.

Email, letters,blogging that’s my style!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How we roll

I am a Taylor. In our family that means a few things.
1) You talk loud on the phone
2) You MOVE a lot.

Change is something I grew up with. If we weren’t moving houses I was rearranging my room. I like a fresh environment time to time.

So, naturally I am GAME when Sam comes up with a Big Idea.

The first 5 years of marriage we moved something like 8 times.

Then something happened.

We found a nice quiet place on Husted Lane and we didn’t leave for 5 years!!

Without realizing it, I had planted roots.
I created zillions of memories with my kids under the same roof year after year.

Traditions repeated with each Holiday and child after child attended the same school with the same Kindergarten teacher.

Change was replaced with Comfort.

Time does what it does best and recently I found change was inevitable.

My family of 5 is growing into 6. My kids are not little anymore and our paradise on Husted Lane is busting at the seams.

Today I find myself filled with a lot of emotions, and the root of them is due to CHANGE.

It’s time to say good-bye to the COMFORT of my life and accept the world of change that is ahead.

In two weeks we will bid farewell to Husted Lane and introduce CHANGE to our growing family.

In two weeks the roof over our head will offer new noises, smells, textures, space, and life!

I am thrilled about the prospects but afraid of the unknown. That’s unlike me.
Maybe it’s because I have LOVED it so much here I am afraid it can’t be replaced??

Our new place is still in the same town and it’s going to be great, but its scary to walk away from our “little”, cozy, familiar home into a cold, empty, bigger one.

I lay awake at night trying to insert our life now into that empty house.

I am out of practice.

We move in on the 15th, the baby is due to arrive 19 days later....that’s how we roll.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Change

Today is the last day of February. I like to think that when tomorrow arrives winter is, for the most part, behind me.

March holds a lot of promise for me.

March brings a new rental contract to sign (or not......more on that later).

March brings me very close to my due date.

March brings a lot of rain, which will be necessary to melt the huge “snow mountain” piled on our grass circle.

March brings change. I need change. I thrive on change.

Bring on the change!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Reality Check

Wednesday morning I woke up to rain....

Wednesday Night passed with rain....

Thursday morning I awoke to rain.

I decided I had to leave the house anyway.

Jace put on his green rain boots, I packed the umbrella and out we went.

Our first stop was Kohl's to do some Christmas returns. (I'm a hermit)

Upon entering the store I smiled. This was the ray of sunshine I needed.

Spring was hanging everywhere.

Bright colors, T-shirts, shorts, and flowers!!!

I came to the right place!

Immediatly I began to feel better. I could, for the next hour, forget about the wet world outside.

I had to bring some of the sunshine home with me so I purchased this:

 
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and these:

 
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I felt happy.

Then we stepped into the rain again and drove to Costco and had pizza for lunch.

It rained the rest of the day, but inside my house I propped the pillow and dreamed of the day I get to wear my shoes.

Today I woke up to this:

 
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And there is no sign of it stopping.

School is cancelled- along with my daydream of Spring.

One more dump?

 

 

 

 
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